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wedding invitation no plus one

My son was invited to his friends wedding, most of his other friends recieved a plus 1 on their invite he did not. My son is 26, and is very upset that he cant bring his girlfriend, and I agree with him that its inappropriate to invite an adult to a wedding and not allow them to bring their SO, especially if your going to pick and choose which friends can and cannot bring their so. He dosent want to go because obvioulsy he will be by himself none to socialize with no one to talk to no one to sir with during dinner, and I dont blame him. He wants to RSVP no, but dosenot want to creat hurt feelings. He asked me what is the proper ettiquette here. I said I am not sure. This guys have been very close for many about 10 years, what do you guys suggest?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jun. 21, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (22)
  • Well the bride or groom must have a problem with his girlfriend and don't want problems at their wedding. It is about them and not your son. If they are so close he should call and ask what the problem is. He shouldn't be so selfish when it's not about him.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:05 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Weddings are expensive, he is not married. How long has he been with his girlfriend? I think he should go and support his friend, this isn't about him and his girlfriend, this is about his friend's wedding, that is probably very expensive.

    Answer by gramsmom at 9:05 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I am very surprised by these answers, do you suggest he talk to himself during the cocktail hour and spend the whole night dancing with himself? I am not understanding this and I think its ridiculous that his friends would want him to sit by himself while everyone else it dancing having a good time with their SO. I know that I wouldnt go to a wedding by myself that has to be so awkward and uncomfortable. I am confused on why he would invite him knowing he cant bring his girlfriend and would be sitting by himself the whole time. I thoguht the purpose of a wedding was suppose to be dance drink talk and have a good time in celebration of two peoples new life together. I think its absolutly outrageous to ask anyone to spend a night alone with everyone else dancing and celebrating together!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • As a bridal consultant I can understand why people do this. In most cases like this it comes down to funds. They want to have their friends at their wedding, but they don't have the funds to feel double that amount... It's a great way to limit how many people attend without having to cut out friends and family. I don't see it as rude, it's their wedding and it should be about them - not the guests.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:16 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Some people add a plus one if a couple is engaged but not if they are just dating. Are his other friends engaged? Have they been with their SOs longer? Is this girlfriend of his fairly new? Either way, if he doesn't want to go then he should just RSVP no and write a not on the response card that says something to the tune of "Sorry I can't join you on your special day, I wish you both the best of luck and many years of love and happiness." Then later on he should still send a gift.

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:22 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Again, is this girlfriend very serious? How long have they been together? Does she know the friend getting married and his wife to be? I assume your son knows other friends going to this wedding, that is who he will talk with and eat dinner with and have cocktails with, heck he can even dance with them. If his girlfriend means nothing to the couple and money is tight, and she is not a serious girlfriend to him then I totally get why they are not inviting her. If you are both so outraged at this, I suggest he rsvp no anyway because obviously the focus is in the wrong place here. For the others who did get a plus one, are they fiance's or more seriously girlfriends who live together or are ALSO friends with the couple being married?

    Answer by gramsmom at 9:23 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • If your son's friend's wedding isn't what is most important to your son here, then he should not be going as he probably isn't a very good friend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Does your son want to share in his friends' joy, or does he want to have a good time?

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • gramsmom, this is the problem all of his other friends the ones hes close with from college together,are all bringing dates so yes it would defenitly be like a 3rd wheel type feeling, . yes My son is head over heels for this one, but thats irrelavant in my opinion, this is not a bar or a frat party, its a wedding its a couples thing, and I understand that its THEIR wedding he gets that and thats why hes not upset, on the flip side, hes an adult it is obviously very uncomfortable and awkward to sit by yourself for the 5 hour ceremony, and watch all of your friends dance and have a good time. Thats why I am confused on the situation, why would you invite someone in such an awkward situation knowing that theres is NO WAY they could have a good time, lets be honest.

    Answer by Cshaw73 at 9:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • rkolo, thats an odd way to put it, he said hes more that happy to go to the ceremony, and watch these two promise there lives to each other in front of god. Its the recepetion hes not going too, I thoguht the recepetion was suppose to be a good time am I wrong?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

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