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Why is it selfish for a man that does pays child support and is there for is other kids selfish for wanting a child with his new wife???

If the man pays his child support gets his kids every weekend.. Is there for his children no matter what( saying going to all the school advents and games).. Why is he and his new wife called selfish when they decided to have a child together.. If he knows he will always be there for his other children and knows he can afford to pay for his first kids and knows he can afford to have a child with his new wife then why not.. Why do people still say he is selfish for this?? Why cant people just be happy?? Please I would like to know this..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (32)
  • Because ex-wives can be serious bitches and they spread this shit around. After a divorce BOTH parties deserve to move on and be happy. A new child brings JOY, not selfishness.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • i would say he's not selfish but the other woman is jealous more likely.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I wouldn't think it's selfish. I think the mother of that dad's kid is just worried she won't get the child support payments anymore. Sometimes I think that's all it's about, the money. Maybe not for everyone's situation, but most of the time it seems that way.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 9:29 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • IMO, as a woman who went through a divorce with children.... A man that had kids was a BIG NO NO. Here's the fact Hon and you can take with it what you want, but at some point you are going to feel slighted and you and your child are going to feel those consequences. No good can come of it. You WILL at some point wonder why this man is paying child support for some kids that aren't even yours... yes, you will!! You WILL at some point wonder why his time is going to those other kids and not your own. To me, a woman that marries a guy that has children already, and then wants more herself is only looking for problems. It's all part of the great plan... Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Sounds like someone would just say that to piss you off. I don't see anything selfish in it at all. It says he wants to have a family with his new wife which is totally unselfish really.
    1st_time_mom23

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 9:31 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Not selfish at all. Just b/c he has children by his first wife shouldn't mean he cant have kids with his CURRENT wife! The first wife doesnt have any rights to what he does any longer!
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 9:33 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • ANON9;30-------BULL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • IMO, as a woman who went through a divorce with children.... A man that had kids was a BIG NO NO. Here's the fact Hon and you can take with it what you want, but at some point you are going to feel slighted and you and your child are going to feel those consequences. No good can come of it. You WILL at some point wonder why this man is paying child support for some kids that aren't even yours... yes, you will!! You WILL at some point wonder why his time is going to those other kids and not your own. To me, a woman that marries a guy that has children already, and then wants more herself is only looking for problems. It's all part of the great plan... Good luck.


    So, a man that had kids and got divorced is not allowed to be happy ever again? Does that go for women too or just men?

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Anon :30, my SO has children from his ex and him and I have a DD together. Nobody is slighted. All the kids are loved the same. All the kids get the same amount of everything. I love my boys to death. I knew when I met him that I wanted children and he knew that and his sons mother knew that. It is no big deal at all. As long as all parties are mature and can be friendly at least. My step sons mother and I are really good friends so I guess that is why things are going so smoothly. Oh and my boys are 9 1/2 and my DD is 2 1/2 SO and I have been together almost 7 years him and his ex split when the boys were 1.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Anony 9:30 I think that is wrong Iam married to a man that already has kids and have been married for him for 5 years.. He pays child support and is there for his kids in every way.. We have a 2 year old child together and we are PG with our 2nd child together now.. I dont have problems with mt Step kids mother ( which I know is rare), I dont feel like my kids are second best or anything like that.. I understand my husband has to pay for his kids because they are his kids and they were here first.. I would be pissed off if he didnt pay for them because they deserve as much as my own children do.. I think alot of woman that marry men with kids are brave and understand woman.. Atleast the ones that want to be there for their step kids are.. Also when my husband spends time with his kids , he just doesnt spend time with just 1 or 2 he spends time with all of them.. That means our 2 year old is right there...
    LillysMama0308

    Answer by LillysMama0308 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

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