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I find it difficult to be a step parent. I have been married over twelve years and been with my husband for over fifteen years. I still have a difficult time adjusting to step-parenting. Is it ever going to get any easier?

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TexasLuanne

Asked by TexasLuanne at 11:49 PM on Jun. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • honestly i have to say if it isnt easier after 15 years it probably wont get that much better....until they move out with their own families and you see them every once in awhile ( and maybe see them more as friends?) maybe then?
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 11:52 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I am sorry to hear this bc I too am married to a man with children from a previous marriage and now we have 2 of our own we have been together as long as you guys been together. Nothing really changes and if it does it only changes a little. I hate when I ask a question here or in general right away they say "well you knew he had kids when you married him" I hate hearing that bc I know that but no one really knows what a stepmom feels while going throughout step-parenting thing. All I really wanted was to become a family but the kids never really wanted to live with us so we had to adjust and move on n make the best of it. And now they are older we don't see much of them and when they do come it's like fake I don't. I guess at the time we were dating everything felt so rightI thought I was going to have my dh all to myself but I do hate when he has to spend time with them but those are his kids and I new he had kids blah blah
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • It's difficult being a parent period. I don't know what it's like to be a step parent, but I imagine that's even harder. What I do know is that you should be really open armed with your step kids and let them know that you love them. Even if they reject you at first, they will still know that you love them and that love will make them come around. Love is a great healer!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:15 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Please don't ever take step-parenting advice from people who've never been there/done that. With all due respect, they don't get it. It's like getting advice about having cancer from someone who's only seen it on tv sitcoms.

    That being said, there are a few groups on here for those with adult stepkids. If yours aren't adults yet, the main stepparenting forums are a good jumping off point.

    If you've got bigger problems like a psycho ex-wife or murderous stepkids, there are some more specialized groups.

    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 12:36 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Psycho ex is always going to be a pain. Be it a girlfriend or for a guy, her ex boyfriend, some people are just not normal but they managed to fool you into feeling in love until it is too late.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I thank God often that my kids father and step-mother live hours away. We get along well enough, but honestly they don't take care of my children the way they should. My husband hasn't had any issues with step-parenting and people usually think my children are his.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • so, i am not a step parent, but i have two step parents. they came into our lives when we were older. i must say my steps never said anything bad about the biological parents. one step never got directly involved with parenting, like i said, we were older when they became involved. i am not sure what your issues are, but trying to get it straight now is a good idea!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:25 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • stepsforstepmothers.com
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:53 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

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