Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Spiraling down????

In a nutshell... divorced, 3 kids, still in custody battle (ex has lawyer, I don't), ex was granted 50/50 for summer, and child support was cut! I work PT at Culvers(22 hrs wk/ can't get any more hours) If I get a second job the few hours I do actually get to spend w/ the kids are going to be next to none. Definitely CAN'T afford a babysitter on $9.00/hr pay. Can't afford to barely pay my bills, (like rent, utilities food) At least I don't have credit cards or vehicle pymt. But I am using a friends beat up car that isn't road safe! I don't qualify for any help except badgercare. Afraid I have to give in and let EX have primary placement cuz I can hardly keep up! What am I to do??? very scared, so please no snide, rude remarks!

Answer Question

Asked by My3RaysofSun at 7:20 AM on Jun. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Call the courthouse and ask how to find a lawyer that will work pro bono. They have to sign up for it. At our courthouse we go to the law library and apply. It normally costs $40 but that's all. Don't do this alone.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:47 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • What state do you live in? I'm surprised they cut your support. In CT there is a system and support goes by that.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 8:04 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • They cut support because custody (physical it sound like) is going to be 50/50. That means she should not get full support, because she does not have full physical custody. I don't know what to tell you OP.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:37 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • i don't have any advice hun but try to stay strong

    Answer by ibebreezy at 9:24 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I live in WI. I already signed up for legal aid(no one around this county wants to give time for a case like this). And EX makes over 45,000 yr, but I only make 9.00 hr and the judge told me I need to either get a different job or take on another 2-3 jobs! they figure my income at 40 hrs cuz that's what he gets and I SHOULD get! I will never get to see my kids! he has 5 children. my 3 then 2 by 2 other women. he's remarried and his new wife is pissed he's paying support to me. He wanted nothing to do with his first born, he pays support to her too!He has always bitched about $. even at the grocery store, if we run into him, he looks into the cart and says what are u buying me, it's my money anyway! And other comments too. he's only doing this to stop paying...not whats best for the kids. after judge ordered 50/50 for summer, he's offering the kids to be with me on some of his days.... aauuuggghhhh, oh and I am on zoloft :(

    Answer by My3RaysofSun at 9:57 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Keep looking for an attorney that will help you out. Call EVERY attorney who deals with custody issues and ask them if they will do it pro bono. The judge seems to be biased in this case. I am also in Wisconsin and you should be able to qualify for more services. I make $10 an hour at 25 hours a week and I get Foodshare and Badgercare. You can appeal the decision. Go apply for EVERYTHING that you can qualify for. You may be able to get child care subsidy to pay for daycare or a babysitter so you can work and look for another job. I am in Kenosha, so if you need help...message me and I can see what resources I can get to you. I have an entire file of resources and I am in school for social work, so I have others that can help too.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • can you babysit in your home for extra money?

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:51 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • That's exactly what they tell fathers who complain that they can't see their children because they have to work extra hours or get another job in order to pay their child support. Nobody ever has any sympathy for them, I've noticed.

    The standard advice to fathers and stepmothers on here is to put your kids' needs first. Work as many jobs as you have to in order to provide for your children. Put your needs last and theirs first.

    Ok, honestly? Their household sounds more stable. They have 2 parents available for the kids, a decent house, money enough to do some stuff, and frankly, you being medicated doesn't work in your favor. They're offering to let you see the kids more than the standard visitation. Sounds like they're not evil, but you're unhappy because you're not getting what you want.

    Answer by Avarah at 11:57 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.