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Ok, I am going thru a divorce and am scheduled to go to court next week to discuss custody issues. He wants custody but it is all bout the money for him he doesnt want to pay child support. That is not the problem. My problem is he has had the kids for the month of june for a visit. My mother and sister went this weekend to visit the kids. They were there at 730 or 8pm. My eldest and youngest was outside alone they are 8 and 5. my middle one who is 6 was in the house with her dad. My mother and sister said the front door was locked and my ex came out of a back bedroom with my middle one. They emplied that he was doing something wrong with her. i dont know and i hope not. i dont know what to do. i am a survivor of abuse and he knows that. DO i think he is capable. yes.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Oh boy, this is a big deal, what are you going to do next? Have you picked up the kids? If not when do you?Have they wanted to come home?Is the middle one talking to you when you would call?Do you have a boyfriend?Is he close to your kids?Would your dd talk to the both of you?This is so have to figure out what if anything is happening thats inappropriate.Did the dad say why the door was locked?Why couldn't the kids go inside?I wish I knew what more to tell you...I would try to move quickly as possible.If they are not back home with you can you think of an excuse to go & get them to come home, maybe a Dr. appointment?

    Answer by Stefono at 12:15 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • he said that he was cooking and that was a lie. everytime i talk to them they say they want to stay. i dont know what to do. iamgoing tomorrow to pick them up to take them to my moms. there is more ppl to help. she will talk some but not much. they all pretty much repeat what their dad tells them to say. He is a strange man. He was charged with harrassment of our 18 yr old babysitter bout 7 years ago. So im not sure. I dont want to falsely accuse him but if its happening i also want to protect my girls.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • If you suspect sexual abuse you have to act quickly! As far as the children being outside unattended, that's just different parenting styles (which I would have a stroke if my two were outside alone!) But men do things much more differently than we women. If I were you, I'd ask the older one (in a non threatening way, like "what did you'd with daddy" type tone-and ask how often they are alone outside, is the middle one always inside alone, etc). Try not to lead them with questions, but you really do need to find out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • i am going tomorrow to see what is going on but legally he has them for his visitation till sunday. we orignially agreed for the summer verbally. i dont know what to do. he is such a good liar. i was married to him for 13 years and dont know him. never really did. i guess after i see how she is acting and all will determine my next course of action. i dont want to open that door if i dont have to but my girls safety is my biggest concern. i was not protected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

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