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If I were to kill myself, it would be because I'm selfish...I don't want to do it anymore

I'm stressed out and depressed. I'm to the point that I would kill myself if I could. But I can't. Because while I don't think there's any other way out, I know my kids need me. So if I killed myself, they'd be screwed. I wouldn't do it because I think they'd be better off without me. I'd do it because I'm exhausted. Emotionally, physically, mentally. My kids are always screaming, fighting and breaking stuff. I think my marriage is a joke and my husband only wants us so no one else can have us. About 3/4 of the time he's mad at me, gone, or ignoring me. He doesn't want to help and acts resentful when he does, which hurts me. I'm tired.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in Health

Answers (10)
  • You need to say screw your husband and get some help for yourself. It's time for yourself and unless you take care of you, you can't take care of your kids. xoxoxo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I know how you feel!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Okay first counseling second you need to sit down and decide what you want quickly.you should figure out if this marriage is worth having or not because trust me it does not get better. After you should figure out what you want if that means getting a pt job or going back to school online or actual school after everything you should get a journal and start writing down your feelings sit down with your husband tell him what you want and how you want the relationship to get better or what you are going to do to make your life better either way do not wait for any of this to get better it does not start making it better for you and your kids. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:41 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Please talk to someone. Nobody should feel this way.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:41 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Please go get some help. While you think your children would be better off without you, that is 100% NOT true.
    Go talk with someone. There are people to help you.
    As for your husband, it sounds like you are extremely unhappy and need to do things to make yourself happy. Your kids need you to be happy because they don't like seeing you like this.
    PLEASE talk with someone.
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 12:41 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Kick him to the curve and go see someone for some help!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • OP here. I'm scared to call anyone. I think if I talk to people about how I'm feeling, they'll want to take my kids. I would never hurt them. But as for myself, I'm lost as to what to do. I have severe depression which I'm not medicated for and know I need to be. I feel like I'm always at my breaking point. I just scheduled a dr. appointment for Monday. I am actually jealous of people who are already dead and often wish my suicide attempt when I was a kid worked.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • they wont take your kids for seeking help.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:47 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I agree with all the moms above that you need to talk to someone as soon as possible so I think it's great that you have a Dr's appt on Monday. You shouldn't just want to live for your kids - you should want to live for yourself. Depression is more common than you can imagine among so many people. No one would ever take your kids from you just because you needed some professional help. It will be such a relief to get everything off your chest and to have someone guide you in the right direction to find that happiness that you deserve. You have to believe that you deserve happiness because YOU DO! There are so many great things to live for and I promise you will be happy that you chose life!!
    Dquint24

    Answer by Dquint24 at 2:30 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Do you attend church? If not, maybe now is a good time to find a sanctuary. Your kids can play in the nursery or attend jr church while you get much needed rest & rejuvenation during worship. It's a good place to make friends with other families. And women that might be willing to take your kids for a day so you can rest. You can also counsel with the pastor about the problems in your marriage.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 3:02 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

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