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He spanked my 11 month old!

My husband spanked our son last night! I was so pissed off at him. Conner was at the dishwasher with daddy and he kept trying to crab the knives (like he knows what the hell they are) and my husband kept taking him out but he get crawling back in the kitchen. Instead if taking him out again and placing him in the playpen or hand him to me, my husband spanked him. He wouldnt go near his daddy for the rest of the night. He's freaking 11 months olf he doesnt understand, just know that daddy hurt him. What should I do about this? I've already told him he better not do it again but my husband has his own mind and doesnt ever listen and I know he'll do it again. He deploys in less then a month and I'm almost relieved. He doesnt handle our kids very well and spanks our 2 yr old over every little thing as well. I dont know what to do anout him spanking our son though he scares me he does it when I'm gone too.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 1:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (29)
  • Even at 11 mos, if after I had sternly said no more than once I would have smacked a hand or popped the diapered but too. The two of you need to come to an understanding of how you are going to raise the kids.

    No, he needs to grow up and get a handle on his anger. I cannot believe defending a man who hits an 11 month old. I also cannot believe "smacking" a very young child on the hand. Seriously, if you can't control your temper better than that, or at least take two seconds out of your day to remove your child from what you don't want them to be in, do the world a favor and stop reproducing now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Do you think he would be open to taking a parenting class. The military bases usually have parenting classes for free. Otherwise, I don't really have any advice. I'm sorry though, cause that sucks. I would be livid if my husband did that and he wouldn't hear the end of it.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • yeah right he's to "manly" to admit he needs help. He'll freak if I mentioned parenting classes. He rather be an ass then ha.ve his job think he's a bad parent. He cares more about what he's job would think then he cares about his family and what he does to them.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:17 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Sounds like your husband needs parenting classes, maybe something you could do together to take the focus off him.'This can come from his own childhood backround.He may not know any other way.'So trying to talk to him may also be difficult.He may feel like he is some kind of failure if he is doing something wrong so there for won't admit he may need the help to be a better 'dad'.I hope you can work some way out to talk with him & he will actually have a better relationship with ALL of you " IF ", he works with you on this.' Good Lck~ I went through a similar situation (about 10 years ago)
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 1:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I know how you feel! I don't thinking spanking is something to resort to for discipline and my husband constantly spanks my 2 year old for it seems like ANYTHING! It makes me SOOO mad, and I yell at him.. yet he still does it again. Even just over something like her not wanting to get into her carseat. She's 2, she's ganna throw fits sometimes! *sigh* We've had some pretty big fights over it, I wish he's just learn some patience.
    MJ_BN_FE

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 1:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • He spanked my 11 month old!
    He doesnt handle our kids very well and spanks our 2 yr old


    Do these kids belong to both of you, or is the 11 month old just YOURS??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • how do you deifine spank? tap on the hand, pop his leg or pull his diaper off & go to town? everyone is going to have their own ideas as far as appropriate discipline when it comes to raising kids. your husband maybe doing what he knows from his childhood. so before you fly off the handle & do something / say you regret, what about talking to him? talking to him & not at him. you can't fear him being alone with the kids and then quit leaving them together. that'll mean each time you go out the kids are with you. my hubby didn't like me popping the kids either. i started with removing them from the situation or whatever they were getting into. when that did work, then when they do something wrong tap their hand. still doesn't work timeout corner. but when all else fails i popped their leg. but mine were a little older. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Is he spanking them hard, like it really makes them cry? I can't imagine spanking an 11 month old hard enough to make them cry. I've playfully batted at my daughters diapered butt and she laughs. If youre really concerned...and you have every right to be if it is in deed a scary situation. I would demand him to take a parenting class and not return home until he does make some sort of attempt to change.
    Its not that I don't agree with spanking..I do. But you've seen it with your own eyes...if it seems likea situation that could get out of control with him, do something about it NOW. Do not wait for something bad to happen.
    I agree that knives are a dangerous thing,maybe he just got scared and that was his reaction...but like I said...it depends on the whole situation.

    Good Luck...I know it must not be an easy thing to be dealing with.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:32 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • spanking is not ok. for me, i would tell him that if you do this again then we will be talking about divorce. you have two different kinds of parenting ideas. that is tough to change. spanking is abuse, i would not tolorate it. but that is just me. good luck.
    Preggydyke

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:33 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • to anon :28 Our 11 month is both of ours but he didnt help me though out my pregnancy with our son and didnt even touch him till he was 3 months old. He wanted nothing to do with our son. My husband wanted me to have an abortion but I refused. So I just got use to saying my 11 month old since he pretty much would aknowledge him as his son too.
    to the second anon :28 he spanked his diapered butt hard, it took me a bit to get him to calm down. I wasnt in there but i heard it and my son is always easy to calm down besides when he gets hurt so I'm pretty sure it hurt him.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:33 PM on Jun. 22, 2010