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'Kids will grow up to be responsible if they want to. You can't make them.'

That is my Dad's honest opinion. He thinks that kids will go to college, want to be educated, or responsible only if they want to do it themselves. Some are just born wanting to be this way, others are not. Nothing anyone can do, even parents, can influence it. Do you think it's true?
(I really disagree and we always play argue about it. I think the parents play a huge role in what a kid wants to do when he/she grows up).

Answer Question
 
deelite12

Asked by deelite12 at 2:21 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (63 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No I don't agree.
    mom2queenie2004

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 2:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • i think people live up to what is expected
    I always talk like they will go to college

    kids live up to what you expect of them, if you never speak of college they may not decide to go, if you speak like it is a given that they are going chances increase
    IMO
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:23 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I think that is somewhat true but there is a base for the type of person you would like your child to become and that starts at home and the values that your children are taught. But as parents we also have to understand that even if we give our children the tools it is up to them to use the tools wisely, not all children do. I am a product of not using the tools my mother tried to give me...but as I got older I learned my lesson and I am a better mother because of it.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 2:23 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I thinks it's true. You still try, but, if they don't want it, they aren't gonna do it. My mom expected me to go to college and finish. I just always heard that i was supposed to do this. I didn't do it at all. LOL Lot's of things were taught to me and expected of me, but, I am stubborn.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:28 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I agree with your dad to an extent. I don't know about being born to be responsible but, I think some people no matter how hard they try and how they are great role models for their kids, as the kids become adults they will make their own decisions. Those decisions very well may not reflect the way their parents raised them. I do not believe you can MAKE your child become a resposible adult...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 2:29 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Parents influence their kids but there are so many other factors at play. My mother always hated school and she'd have been perfectly happy for me to get knocked up and marry a local boy but that wasn't enough for me so I packed up and went to college.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Sorry, your father is right. You can teach your children everything about responsibility and then they still go the wrong way. Eventually, they will be making decisions for themselves and what they want at the moment.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 2:31 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I'm reading a good book now called "Your Kids are your Own Fault!" I am only in chapter 4, but I already recommend it!
    musichollie

    Answer by musichollie at 2:37 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I think thinking it's one way or the other in the extreme is off the mark. I think both views are a little right and both are a little wrong. Great parenting is not going to overcome all natural personality tendencies, but great parenting can help a child become more responsible even if he lacks an internal need to be that way. I do believe some people are so strongly wired towards a specific type of behavior that it would take some really exceptional or really horrible parenting to make them turn out differently than their "wiring".

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 2:38 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • To a point. I am in school now, and for the past 2 years I have been surrounded by kids who are only going to school because their parents are making them go. They show up (occasionally) and if it's a class in a computer lab or where they are allowed laptops, they spend the entire time on facebook. They skate by on C's, don't give a damn about what they're learning, and depending on the class, don't have the first clue what's being discussed. In one of my classes yesterday, one girl threw a full on tantrum (feet stomping, fists clenched) because the professor wouldn't let her turn an assignment in a week late with no penalty. It was painfully embarrassing just to be in the same room, and followed by a nice long awkward silence.

    Point is - all of these kids have parents at home trying to make them be responsible. All it's doing is wasting their money.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

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