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Any one else's husband do this???

I don't even know if he does this intentionally but it drives me crazy - we are talking about switching daycare's for our son.. I think after 1-1/2 years he shouldn't be crying at drop off and MOST days my husband agree's but everytime I make the steps to change, he says things like, well He's going to have troubles anywhere he goes, in the same breath he says that its ridiculous he has to be so upset everyday and we should look for a place he is more comfortable.. it goes on and on and in more detail but really what he does is makes sure to stay on BOTH sides to staying at the daycare and leaving so that if he does bad at a new daycare, he can say "see, I knew he'd have a hard time, we shouldn't have taken him out" then if he likes it better he is safe also - my nickname is BLAMER for him.. it always lands on my shoulders somehow.. arg...


Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I'm a provider, have been for 20 years. It concerns me that your child cries daily at drop off. When you go out the door, step off to the side where you can't be seen and listen. See how long he cries, how the provider is handling it. Check back in unannounced during the day. See how things are going. Talk to your provider. See if he is having trouble or another child is pushing his buttons. He shouldn't be going through this every day. The occasional bad day, after a vacation or long weekend , maybe, but it shouldn't be the norm. Does your husband realize what he is doing and that it drives you crazy? Or does he just not have any more of an idea what to do than you do?

    Answer by MaggiesMom208 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • sounds kinda typical for a lot of men

    not mine, but mine has other issue that i could call typical immature men behavior

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • OP: Our son is 2-1/2 and started at this daycare CENTER at 16 months - he is 2 years and 8 months old now and Still crys at drop off and tells me every morning he doesn't want to go to school - that kids hit him and a certain girl bites.. which is true, I have had 4 incident reports of the biting incidents which apparently according to the Director is a phase and they are shadowing her, he gets punched and pushed by 2-3 other kids.. he's very shy and sensitive so really, they are probaly just running and he is there and falls - I just don't feel a center is right for his temperment but we are both scared of In home daycares for some reason.. the news probably so I am trying to take some time to think and research on this but every other day he's on a different page than I am so I want us BOTH to be on the same page before WE make a decision.. I don't know how to get there though -

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • he is just pointing out the good and bad sides of both. and staying neutral. he wants you to make the decision.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:33 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • just ignore him leave him there..I put up w my husband complaining about how I was working what hours I was working and this is constantly yet he was the one who wanted me to get a job in the first place. just leave him there. I quit after this crap w work being everyday cuz I got sick of it LOL now I can't find work. YOur son will get used to it maybe just keep taking him pretty soon he'll no longer cry when he gets used to it and realizes he has to stay there/

    Answer by chica679 at 2:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Maybe you should hire a babysitter to come into your home where you son is comfortable. Some kids just cry when they are dropped off because they have separation anxiety not because the place is a bad place. Just fyi. I used to work in daycare and that's how it was. Anyway...good luck.

    Answer by lowencope at 2:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • OP: yeah, I can understand that - HOWEVER, God forbid something happens at a new daycare,. he will also be able to say, SEE, now this is what I was afraid of, we should have never taken him out of the center, you never take in to consideration of what I want to do with OUR son.. believe me, this has been an on-going battle, I just don't know how to tackle it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think the daycare has anything to do with your kid crying. It's a phase they all go through and I'm pretty sure you will go through a lot of time and effort finding a new place only to see that he still cries when you drop him. The thing about daycares is, well, they have lots of kids there. Kids who bite and bully.

    Answer by deelite12 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I would tell my husband if he doesn't knock it off there will be no daycare and you will be staying home. Ya there will be no income on your side but you also wont have to pay for daycare so that free's up a little money

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Does he cry all day or just at drop off time?

    Answer by emhain at 2:45 PM on Jun. 22, 2010