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Help me word this so as not to offend.

My next door neighbor has a six yr old son who constantly wants to come over to play. He will ring the door bell until we answer and come back repeatedly in the same day. I do not want him here a lot and I have no trouble telling him 'NO'. Here is my problem. Today I let him in for awhile and then I asked him to leave. He comes back 2 minutes later saying his mom told him to come back! I told him, no, go home. About an hour later he comes back and asks to play again! I say NO. About 30 minutes after that he comes to ask if my son can play outside! I again said no. I have a feeling I need to take this up with his mother but how do I nicely say "keep your kid away from my house" without offending her???

 
Orionsgirl

Asked by Orionsgirl at 9:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 31 (48,442 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Ok, I don't think you are being mean. There are some parents out there that allow their children to run wild...it is sad in my book. That doesn't mean you have to have this child in and around your home 24/7. We have a little girl who lives down the street. She lives with her grandma and her dad...who is unemployed and ignores her constantly. She is allowed to run the block, she walks into our house unannounced, she uses toys, swings on our porch...I am always shoo-ing her away if we can't be out there as we have a pool and God forbid she get in the gate! I agree this child is needing attention, but you are not his keeper. I would go introduce myself to his mom, get a feel for her. Tell her while you kids would enjoy playing, they are not available all day and you are concerned that he is over a lot. Maybe just calling her out will get her to watch him better...maybe not, good luck!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:02 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I would maybe say something like... I would appreciate if your son would only come over for so and so time maybe every other day . Say if your son needs to be doing something else or have family time, she should understand. Good luck
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 9:41 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I would tell her you have things to do and her son coming over so often is distracting. Then I would get some kind of flag or something that he will recognize and hang it on or near your door. Then explain to him and his mother that if the flag is up, you are available to play, if it is not up, then don't knock on the door.
    There is nothing saying you have to put the flag out at all, but if you are up for playing then he will know. Then when he comes and the flag is not up, you can remind him, that it is not time to play. If it keeps happening then you can tell his mom to keep him away.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • are you wantign them to play together but just not wanting the kid lingering around your house all day? i know you and your fam prob have things to do...so let the mother know that between this and this time is my childs free time to play .....but before or after that your child is not allowed to have company over..due to chores homework....dinner bedtime routine and what not. that is a perfectly fine a respectable thing to tell the mother....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • maybe the neighbor child has a bad home life and really doesnt want to go home. how well do you know them?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • "how do I nicely say "keep your kid away from my house" without offending her???"


    *****************

    You can't. That's not a very nice thing to say to anyone. It soubds like the six year old is incredibly lonely and seeks your child's friendship. Perhaps you could invite him and his mom over for a playdate once per week?

    He's just a little kid. He's not intentionally trying to annoy you.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 10:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • So I'm the bad guy because I don't want this child around? lol
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:20 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't. I mean, if she's telling him to come back, he's probably in a bad situation. He would probably get beaten or something for it. I would investigate more.
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 10:23 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Like the previous posts were saying, do you know the child's family very well? Do you know that he has a safe home life? I would really check into it, then if you don't find anything bad, go with the flag idea another poster had. In our neighborhood when we lived in a cul-de-sac, all the kids were about the same ages and would play together, and they were coming to knock on each other's doors all the time so we parents decided we would each make a "go away" sign lol. We all had magnets on our front doors, and if we were busy, or if the babies were asleep or we just didn't want company, we'd hang out the sign and any kid who knocked would be warned only once, then we would talk to their parents. It worked, the kids still had plenty of playtime, and we ALL knew when each other didn't want to be disturbed, lol. Good luck with your situation.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:12 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • I would go & get to know the mom somehow... It sounds like his mom may be sending him over there to get him out of her hair... If he annoys you, I bet he annoys her too (sad I know but not everyone should have kids that do)....
    I would set up a time slot thats acceptable for visiting & go to their house to let the mom know... Just be nice & give the kid a compliment so if his life at home isnt easy you may not get him into trouble (ya i can see bad mom punishing her son for annoying you or even not being good enough to be "wanted" over there KWIM?)
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 11:40 PM on Jun. 22, 2010