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Not sure what to do when my son wont mind.

My nine year is not doing good. I have spanked him, put him in time out, and have taken things away. I have sat down and talked to him but he is just not getting it. Please if you have any ideas what may work I am all ears. I am tired and don't know what else may work. He is always in trouble. Thank you for any ideas.

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JeepinMama

Asked by JeepinMama at 8:46 AM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (3)
  • Children will sometimes misbehave just to gain their parents' attention. They don't get enough of it any other way, so they act out. Negative attention to them is better than none at all. Could this be part of the problem? Every child wants a little individual attention, just so he knows that he is special to his parents. I don't know where he is as far as birth order, but if he is the oldest or the only, it may be that he feels pressured to much to be all grown up, and he isn't ready for that yet, so he acts more and more childish so not so much is expected of him. If he's the youngest, they seem to always crave more attention, and if he's in the middle, that a tough spot to be. The older gets adult treatment; the baby gets baby treatment, and the middle is left to himself. I would make an extra effort to do something with him that he enjoys doing and see if that doesn't make some different. Brag on him. Be positive
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:56 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I agree as it could be that he wants MORE attention from you and or S.O. If there are siblings that can pervoke the behavior as well. Or he may need some counciling thats a basic form of therapy just someone for him to talk to thats not bias in any way.You never know it might just be a passing phase , there are many of those....I've got 5 kids *&* somedays feel like they will never end, & others just wizz by! Good Luck~
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 9:04 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • He is the oldest and he gets alot of good attention. But he just likes to be in trouble, but it is really starting to wear the whole family out. We cant go anywhere or do anything fun because he is always in troulbe and most of the time it is just dumb stuff that he is doing. And he likes to lie all the time and that is the main reason he gets in trouble. Like if you see him do something and ask him why he said that he didnt do it and he gets in to trouble at school for not doing his work and just being mean to everyone. He is mean to his little sister and little bother. I am just out of ideas. We have tried to take him to someone to talk to and he lied to them and got us in to trouble with CPS but it was dismissed because it didnt happen. He told the dr that we took him to the we hit him. then the next time he said that my in laws hit him then it was my dad that did it. He went there for almost six months.
    JeepinMama

    Answer by JeepinMama at 10:25 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • But none of it was true. It took three months to get the case dimissed. And what happened is he ran into the wall. He loves pain and will do anything to hurt himself. (like run into things fall down the stair) I have taken him to drs after dr. and noone can help us. They have put him on meds for ADHD but they make him so zombied that my husband wont alow for him to be on it anymore.
    JeepinMama

    Answer by JeepinMama at 10:36 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Are you being consistant? And I mean really being consistant?? That is the biggest mistake parents make today... there is no consistancy. If you are.. .I would talk to his medical doctor like someone else suggested. There maybe something else causing the issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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