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how can l stop my jealousy about my husbands female friend

l left my husband last year for 3 months for another man it didnt work out and my husband took me back . But while l was away my sons girlfriends mum helped my husband with things , i.e. my son was worried as he wasnt eating she came down to the house and made him eat she also got him to go to the pub with her a thing he never done when we were together. He laid his cards on the table when he took me back and told me that he had told this woman that he fancied her , but she told him she wasnt interested in him that way they were only friends. But l am very jealous of her l feel scared she is going to take him away from me , l dont even want to talk to her and he does not see any reason why l should be this way about her as all she done was get him through a difficult time in his life. She is having problems with her health at the moment , as l am also and l fee he is putting her problemsbefore us , please help .


Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • this is all your fault, you are lucky he took you back. if i were you i would be doing whatever it takes to show my husband i will not bail on him and my family again. if anything you need to be thanking this woman for being there for your family , while you were off being selfish and careless. i would try to befriend her especially since she already made it known that she is not interested in him like that. i also agree with PP, if you work hard and rebuild his trust for you, he will slowly start focusing back on you and not on her.

    Answer by 3xangel at 7:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • "he had told this woman that he fancied her "

    If he wanted to get back with you, he should not continue a relationship with her if he feels this way towards her regardless of how she feels about him.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • you made your bed. I'm sorry you don't feel well but this is all the happenings after your storm , it was a selfish thing to do.If you still want to stay with him you'll have to wait it out...Try to talk sincerely to hubby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Pretty good husband to take you back, right? I am sure you regret what you did, so I won't bash you for it, but perhaps you should be friends with this woman as well, she has already told your husband, she doesn't want a romantic involvement with him. I would also suggest some counseling with you and hubby ASAP, good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:55 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You put yourself in the situation dear. You left him. He took you back. Now you have to deal with the situations that have arisen from you bailing on him. Put a lot of effort into making your husband feel loved and wanted and maybe you can phase her out.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:44 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I think when you got back together, you both should of been completely in. That means NO other people. This is obviosly a problem in your marriage and IMO I wouldn't want me or my DH to have any other opposite sex friends (especially one that feeling were involved with) until our marriage was back on solid ground. My SO and I have never cheated on eachother but neither of us have opposit sex friends because we know that damage that can be caused with it and its not a chance we are willing to take. GL

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I left my husband last year as well and was gone for 8 months, while I was gone a mutual friend of ours had just gotten through her divorice. My husband leaned on her a lot, he just didn't have any one else. She would have dinners with my husband and my boys, they would take walks together, go have drinks together, talk on the phone...
    When I moved home she was stand-offish towards me because she felt I was angry with her because she helped my husband. One night she came over and was talking to him when I got home from work, I was very cordial and we ended up talking for 4 hours about everything. Our relationship is still good and she still has a relationship with my husband.
    I wasn't jealous but there was a layer of wondering what really went on, not that it mattered really given what I had done but it was still there. I think talking to her may help you get over your jealousy,

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:16 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I'm not trying to bash you but what comes around goes around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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