Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Bad dreams about husband's infidelity (no bashing!)

This morning I woke from a horrible very detailed dream of my husband being completely infatuated with a girl I went to school with. You know how dreams are, they are so weird anyway, but why does it have to feel so real? I watched as he played out my worst nightmare with another woman, and with as much love and adoration for her that he shows me. I even confronted him and he defended himself about what she felt for her and he didn't want to be with me anymore. It feels horrible. I know it's just a dream, I just don't honestly know how to recover from having those images in my mind.

I've tried talking to him about these dreams that seem to happen about once or 2 times a month, and he just shrugs them off. I feel like he obviously doesn't know how much they really effect me. I know it's just a dream, but still... it doesn't make it any easier.

(please no one be a bitch, i've had a rough morning and don't ned to hear it)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • My husband of 38 years has the same reocurring dreams of me being with another man, I think they come from insecurities in your marriage, maybe this is the issue you should address.

    Answer by older at 11:53 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • It's not uncommon for your subconscious to play out your deepest fears and desires. You are obviously very sensitive and may be having some strong dream energies. Remind yourself that these are only dreams... they are not real. I have woken up in a cold sweat many times dreaming about my mother falling off a cliff and reaching out to me with horror in her eyes. She is still here after many years of those awful dreams. The mind is a strange and fascinating thing. Don't take it too seriously. Most every woman is secretly concerned that her husband is sleeping around. It's normal and completely harmless. hugs.

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 11:56 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I know it can be troubling, but it's completely normal. My ex used to wake up mad at me for the same things. If you've ever noticed, dreams are usually a hodgepodge for things we have thought about during the day. Don't let it get you down. My ex and I finally started telling each other the dreams and laughing about them. Mine were always funny because no matter what, I could never see the guy's face.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:00 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I have been cheated on several times in my past and even been abused by one of my ex's. since my past hasn't been so well I have had these dreams about my hubby too and it doesn't make me feel good either especially since i know that in reality it can happen just as easily as it happens in my dreams. But when i wake up i look at my husband and i know that it's not going to happen because my husband has been the only man to treat me so well and made me feel so special.
    It's hard, but you need to take into account what you really have and throw away the things that are haunting you in your dreams. don't justify it and run into the safety of shadows by saying "well it could happen! because i did this.. or my husband did that..." because that can end up messing up your relationship. GL mommy and i pray you find a way to get past this

    Answer by khmymommi at 12:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You said it yourself. It's your worst nightmare which means you think about it a lot so that means when you sleep those thoughts pop back up in dreams. Replace those thoughts with happier thoughts.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i've had these dreams - they do suck. but all you're likely to accomplish by talking to your husband about them is him thinking you're trying to make accusations. figure out what is behind these dreams. how you feel betrayed by someone (not necessarily your husband), etc. and realize that they are only dreams no matter how real they seem at the time. if this is an ongoing dream you need to explore what's behind it.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • So far I really appreciate all your answers, and you're all right. Thank you so much, as the day has moved on I'm feeling better. I guess it's my own fault really, though. I'm so insecure about myself right now (I just started dieting/excersizing hardcore to lose about 60 lbs) that it's always in my mind, not his infidelity, but my insecurities about myself. I know as soon as I get my own self image back up to par, my insecurities will go away. Thank you girls.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Insecurity is the worse feeling in the world. And most times that insecurity will drive someone away from you anyway....Grab hold of yourself and remember, this is just a dream. People have broken up over dreams of their mates cheating on them. Don't let this happen to you...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:22 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I've had dreams of like that like the first time my husband went on his first deployment I dreamt that he went in this place and it was a different country which he was and in my gut and dream he was doing something he was. I dreamt that dream a lot and it happened he cheated on me with a whore. Ever since after that dream happened I dreamt alot of him cheat some were I'm right outside the door and I knew what was going on and heard them talking. Some were just horrible and woke up crying. I haven't had dreams like that for a while but maybe it's cause I stopped really loving him and caring for him. Cause I don't want be hurt if he we're to do it again.

    Answer by momtoPMCandJNC at 7:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I too think they come from insecurity, and don't be ashamed, a lot of women and even men have insecurity issues at some point or another. I remember I was plaqued with cheating dreams when I didn't trust my husband and feared that we might cheat on me one day. (I think the fear came from the fact that my dad cheated on my mom when I was a yound teenager). I notice now that I very, very rarely have a dream like that now that I have became more confident that he won't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.