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Should i act as a mom or just a friend?

My boyfriend for 2 years off and on accidentally got his ex pregnant while we were not together. I was doing my thing he was obviously doing his. Me and my ex are back together . She is 9 weeks pregnant, their plan is that the baby will live with him since his home is stable and hers is not at all. I'm going to see the baby alot more then she will, if she see's her child at all. Do i act as a mother figure to this child being that i know how it feels growing up without a mother and the pain it causes, or do i just act like a friend?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • you are taking on parental responsibilities - act like a parent.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • If the baby is going to be in your home, I wouldn't know what else to do but to love him/her like my own and act as a mom. If you're a friend, the child will walk all over you.

    Answer by lowencope at 12:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Mother the child. It will need that in his/her life. You should play the same role as any other full time step mom would.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 12:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I def. think you are going to be the "MOM" figure! Best of luck to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • It really sounds like a tough situation all around, and kudos to you to being able to stay sane through it all. So she is willing to just let her baby go to you and the father? If that's the case she obviously must see you as well as the father as better figures for her child to be around. That being said, I agree with everyone else. It doesn't sound like the baby will have any other way to look at you other than a mother figure. I hope things work out well and ish you all the best...

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 12:31 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • you will be more of a mom. and like a pp said, if you try to just be friends they will walk all over you.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • If things work out between you two I would say the same as APs have that you'll be the mother figure likely even more than the bm at times. Please don't take this the wrong way but have you guys had counseling? If its an on and off relationship maybe it would help you both sort through any emotions of the situation you are in and make life happier for everyone involved especially since another person will be involved now. Best of luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Here's an eye opener. You're worried about how much love to give to this precious little child and missing the big ugly picture entirely. Wake up my dear sweet ninny. NObody whose brain is working accidentally knocks somebody up. Your ex wasn't smart enough to use protection with his sweetpea while he was on hiatus from you and now you act like everything is just dandy. This guy is a landmine of stupidity and indecision and you're standing there like a school girl with a wilted dandelion. Stand up for what is right girl, this guy is bad news and you need to get out of the way before the baby is born. He made this mess and you lay there like Mother Theresa in a pool of forgiveness. Dump him now and find a man who knows what he wants and isn't careless enough to get stupid-girl preggo during a casual sexual fling. Can you say Red Flag? This is only going to get worse my friend. Both of them will end up hating you. Good Luck! :)

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 12:40 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Wait a minute...the child is coming to live in your home because you have a stable environment? By whose means, yours? His? Or together? There's a lot to think about before taking on the responsibility of someone else's child. Regardless of the fact of the child living in your home, "she's" sitll the mother of this child. Your role is to love and care for this child. taking on any types of roles is not questionable when it comes down to the fact of loving a child.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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