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religious views on ectopic pregnancy removal

Long story short...
I was told I had a miscarriage a week ago and it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy which I had to have surgery to remove.
I can't stop thinking about my baby. It was hard to accept a miscarriage even though it was out of my control. But with the surgery, its like aborting a baby, even though I didn't really have a choice.
Will my baby go to heaven? Will I be judged? My family keeps saying that I can't think like this because the pregnancy couldn't make it anyway but I feel terrible.

 
Mel_in_PHX

Asked by Mel_in_PHX at 1:12 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 19 (6,704 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • You baby was an innocent child.And all innocent children go to heaven."Let the little children come to me".but you had no choice.You have to live to care for your family.I am sorry this has happened to you.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Your pregnancy wasn't viable... Had you not had it removed it would have killed you and your baby. No matter your religion or your beliefs, I can't imagine any God would bless you with a baby just so you could both die... It's not abortion... No more than a D&C would be or any other medical procedure...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • of course you feel terrible
    sorry for your lose
    but you can not feel like this situation was abortion, because it is not at all!
    of course your baby is in heaven and was sent to you from heaven, even though for a very short time, your child brought you a life lesson that you needed (even if you can not see that lesson and may never see until you are reunited in heaven)
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 1:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • That pregnancy would have killed you. Neither you or the baby would have survived if you hadn't had the surgery. Thank your GOD for the wonders of modern medicine. If you lived in another time and place you would be dead.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Our pediatrician was faced with this... they are very strong Christians and his wife had to have an ectopic pregnancy removed. Please understand that that was not a viable pregnancy. The baby would never have developed properly, and could not have been supported for nine months outside the uterus. It would have killed you if it had not been removed. It was not an abortion; in medical terms they removed a bundle of cells that was somewhere it shouldn't have been. It sounds very cold to say it that way, and I am very sorry for your loss, but IT WAS NOT AN ABORTION by any means or definition. You are not and will not be judged for this. As for where the baby is, I'm afraid no one can really answer that accurately.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 1:29 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i dont believe your baby will go to heaven. I do believe that you will be reunited with that baby so that you can raise him or her after armaggedon. it will be a beautiful moment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I just want to say I am very sorry for your loss and I am sorry for the pain you are in. I know what you are going thru and these questions and feelings are normal. Know that God is a loving God full of compassion and mercy and He loves His children.
    natural.mama

    Answer by natural.mama at 1:37 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss, and I can't imagine what you must be going through. But I know that adding guilt to everything else can't help anything. Its not your fault, there was nothing else you could have done. I don't think He would hold it against you. And I believe that your little one is in heaven waiting for you. I know not everyone believes the same, but I do believe it. I wish there were something more I could say, but I know at a time like this there are no words. Just know that our hearts go out to you, that we feel all that we wish we knew how to put into words to say.
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 1:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I'm very sorry for your loss. This is one of those sad things that happens sometimes, and there is no way to save a pregnancy that is ectopic. All you can do is potentially lose your own life or fertility in the process. I had a m/c with my first pregnancy and I know that I would have done absolutely everything I could to save that child, and I'm sure you feel the same way. Unfortunately, as moms we don't have the power to make everything go the way we want it to. This is one of those times when nature is simply cruel and we have to deal the best we can with it.

    I can't really speak to judgement/afterlife because I suspect we have different beliefs and I don't even pretend to have a clue what happens in the afterlife. However, I hope you are able to let go of the guilt and can mourn your loss and eventually find the peace you deserve to have. ((HUGS))!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 4:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss. It must be a very difficult thing. As was said berore Jesus told us to "Let the little children come to me" so we can certainly hope and trust in his love for us that your baby is in heaven with Him. And your surgery was not like an abortion. With an abortion, the intention is to kill the baby. What you did was remove a defective tube that was infected and could have killed you. The death of your child was an extremely unfortunate side-effect - but not the intention. You did what you had to do.
    eringobrough

    Answer by eringobrough at 4:47 PM on Jun. 23, 2010