Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

anyone else dissapointed in their mother as a grandmother??

I feel like I am all alone in this feeling. All my friends moms help them constantly, have patience for their grandkids & can't get enough of them. Some grandma's even watch their grandkids 5 days a week!
My mom...totally different. She lives far away, so she see's my kids like 5 times a year, but she has no patience for them. She doesn't really get on the floor to play with them, she can be careless around them and she won't babysit the two of them alone! she says its too much for her. I have an 8 month old and a 2yr old. I know they can be a lot to handle, but once in a while it would be nice to go out for a few hours. She is nothing like the way my grandmother was to me (my mom's mom) Just never expected this, its dissapointing and sad.
anyone else feel this way about thier mom?
I do want to add that she is in her early 60's, has a big social life and is on the golf course 4 days a its not like she is very old

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • It sounds to me like your mother is done raising kids and just doesnt want to do it anymore. Thats her decision and I cant blame her.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 1:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i kinda feel like this too my mom doeswork now but when she works i keep my nephew for her while he's out of school (she has custody) but i feel like it's such a burden toask her to keep my kids somy dh and i can go on a date (only beenon2 since the baby was bork 10 months ago)... and my mil never keeps them but she'll keep dh's sister's kids with no problem.. my kids are way better behaved than their bratty screaming biting cousins...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You can't make your mother what she isn't. You have to protect your kids emotional well being.And if it means they don't spend time alone with grandma, then so be it.I am sure there is someone else who would make a fuss over your kids Like at church or a neighbor you trust.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • How was she as a Mother?? did she get down on the floor and play with you or get funny and crazy with you? My sister is going to make a HORRIBLE grandmother but she's also not an involved mother.. some mom's really are just done being parents once their kids are raised.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • ya my mom cant get use to the fact that she is a grandma. me and my sister both agree that she should not be allowed to keep our kids at the same time or for more than a few hours at a time. we just dont trust her.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I am sorry your mother does not fit your idea of a good grandmother, but some women are different and this does not mean they are any better or worse than others, they just have different perspective in life. I am not a grandma yet but I am looking forward to an extension of my family and to being able to help my daughter, but not everyone is the same. Just like there are mothers out there who can't handle being a stay at home mom, the same goes for grandparents who feel this is their time to live.

    Answer by older at 1:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i feel the same way about my mom and her mother,people are not like how it used to be ,i thought that to see another generation come from them would be a wonderful life ,i dnt thnk people should feel like they are raisin kids again bc they spend time with grandchildrn,what is this world comin 2 ,i miss the real granma s

    Answer by at 1:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I"m with your mom. I have nine grandkids. This was the choice of my children. I support their decision but I'm not the built in sitter. I can't take noise anymore. I no longer have patience. Raising 3 kids alone worn my patience down. I can't watch more than one at a time and that's only in an emergency. I can't lift small ones so that is out of the question. We get old. Our bodies hurt. We did our best with our children. Now it's your turn. We can be supportive and an emergency backup system but other than that, I don't think we are obligated for more. My mother NEVER helped me. I had no one but me and got out of an abusive marriage, set out with 3 small kids on min wage job. I made it without mom's help. You can too. When you chose to have children I'm sure you made sure you could care for them without the help of others except dad. That is what he's for.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • My mom was a grandmother at 34 and had no break between having me and 16 and then having grandkids. She sees them twice a year as we live 900 miles away now. She calls and sends gifts and has a great time with them when she sees them. When we lived close she never really saw them and wouldn't watch both of them together as they are horrible children.

    Answer by ashisamom at 1:55 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Not at all. My mom is only 53 she spends time with the grandkids but she is young, works and is very active. She raised her kids and now enjoys her own life with her husband. None of us expect anything from her or our dad we are the parents now they can spend as much time or as little with the grandkids as they like.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 1:58 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.