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Why is such a big deal to some people if you have kids before you get married?

I was married when I had my son. But we are divorcing now and I don't plan on ever getting married again. I do however plan on having at least one child if I meet the right man. Marriage is just a piece of paper.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • . Marriage is just a piece of paper,, yes but one that comes with legal protection. By the way I do not see anything wrong with having a kid without marriage, you go girl!

    Answer by older at 2:19 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I don't believe that you should be married just to have a child. If you love the person that you are with, then why the hell not have a child. You don't need a paper to prove that you are "allowed" to have a baby. I hate that crap. I was married when I had mine too... but that didn't mean anything to me.. I guess I was already preggo and didn't know it. Lol.


    Answer by Michele068 at 2:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • That falls under the category... MMOB... mind my own business... I see nothing wrong with people making their own choices, I don't disagree or agree on it. I think people need to do what they need to do.

    I don't understand why it matters to anyone other than to two people in the relationship and their children.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:23 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I am going to have another child but I am not going to get married why I believe it is not for me. I think there is nothing wrong with not being married to have a child.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I agree but I am one of them....we have 3 kids we are not married they are all his kids. We may get married but its kinda one of those things why? We have been togther close to 9 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • some Europeon countries it is norm NOT to be married

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • For a lot of people it is a religion thing (not to not have kids before marriage, but to not have sex before marriage). To a lot of others, it is because they think if a man wont marry you he wont stay with you, and therefore you shouldn't have kids with him. A whole separate group have their own opinions.

    Personally, I couldn't care less, I wasn't married to my SO when we had our DD, and I think its likely we'll never get married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • After seperating from my husband I really never want to get married again ever either. i know it's not biblically correct to have sex but I am just trying to live.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • If anyone in our glorious country chooses to have children out of wedlock, then that's their business and everyone has the freedom to do that. In MY life, I believe in a spiritual relationship with God and I really think that marriage, for me, is a sacred bond between myself, my DH, and God. That's why it's more than just a piece of paper to me.  For someone else, it could be beneficial for other things (ie insurance, buying a home, etc).  But for me, its spiritual and I love being my husband's wife, it gives me butterflies to say it  ;-)   I also enjoy having the same last name as my husband and child.  It feels complete.  Do people approach you and give you a difficult time OP?


    Answer by kenzie07 at 2:37 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • The legal protection it gives my husband, my children and me. In GA, my husband wouldn't have any rights to our children should we separate. I didn't want my children to be illegitimate. I guess to some people marriage still means something.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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