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How to help a child who has a very sensitive personality

Our son has been a cryer - clingy - whiney ever since he was born. Colic, sleep issues, lactose intolerance, food allergies, seasonal allergies etc... We he's 2-1/2 and only child and the love of our life, however I notice he still crys at daycare drop off after 1-1/2 years, he isn't tranistioning to the next level like he should very easily, he crys anytime anyone leaves him, fits seem more extreme than the "typical" toddler, he is also very strong willed so I know that makes a difference.. We aren't spankers or smacking type of parents at all. But I don't know how to make things easier for him, he seems to get upset about almost everything. We are planning on moving and it terrifys me also as he already doesn't sleep at night well if he'll just get worse or if the change will be just far too hard on him/us. Do you coddle this type of personality or get tougher? PIOG

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (6)
  • my son is a bit sensitive too. He's almost 8 now, and over the last couple years, i've still cared, just not coddled. It's a firm type of caring if that makes any sense. I don't get worked up, so he doesn't too. But i listen and never blow it off (a concern of his). As he got older it was easier to work with him. For example, he went through a phase of wanting to sleep in our bed after we moved. We occationally let him to help him transition to a new house/room (he was 5), but then we got to only on weekends, then only one night, and so on. It just took him a while to feel at home in his new room, and i understood that we were the consitent factor in the equation, so it makes sense.

    collide

    Answer by collide at 3:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • OP: Lets say about the sleeping, the more I went to him and cuddled him, the more he woke, the worse he got/ and is now. The whinning, we are trying tough love or trying to teach him to "shake things off" as every bonk or bruise is a MAJOR issue and needs tending and a bandaid and when you try to get him to shake it off, it can turn in to a 1 hour fit. He is in part time daycare center and part time with my mom - well she's getting warn out as he can be like having 3 kids in 1 - we can't afford full time center care and now need to find an in home daycare, which I think he'd actually benefit from as he does tend to get very over stimulated and also shuts down by so much comotion and lack of one on one with the provider/s. but I think that switch will also be a nightmare-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • my son is like that if i tell him time out go to ur room he starts running crying to his room for his timeout :( but i dont even havae to yell to make him upset if i just tell him no sometimes he starts crying like someone hit him and i'm like omg! people are going to think i hurt him or spank him which i can reassure you i would never do that ... and he still wakes up in the nights at times too . a lot of people say give it time so that swhat im doing because i have no idea of what to do . good luck
    mommyof2chasmin

    Answer by mommyof2chasmin at 2:33 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • My daughter is sensitive too, but I have started ignoring the little things like when she bonks herself, or small little things. Consistency is key, she freaked last night because it was dinner time but she wanted to do something else...I told her no, and the answer remained no until she ate. It doesnt matter how much she cried, my answer would have stayed the same. She is learning that when I say no, its no...and her reactions arent going to change the outcome. She freaks for time outs too...and I put her in the corner, let her cry, and ask her if shes ready to talk to me, when she says yes, I tell her why she was in time out and ask her if she understands. It stops her from doing it again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You're little one is still young, and separation anxiety is still very common at 2 and half. Just don't let it linger in the mornings so he gets himself worked up over it. When dropping him off, hug, kiss, "i love you, and i will pick you up after snack" (or whatever time he understands), and leave. If the caregiver is any good they will help transition your son onto an activity, and by the time your down the street, he should be fine.

    Another option if he's holding onto the anxiety, is a sticker chart at the daycare. As soon as he calms down, have him put a sticker on the chart to start his"good day". Don't make it a sticker/no sticker thing. He gets a sticker every day, WHEN he calms down and is "ready to start his day". After a week or two (occasionally longer), he'll forget about the anxiety and want to put a sticker on the chart as soon as you leave. Make it a very positive thing all around.
    collide

    Answer by collide at 3:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Positive re-inforcement.
    Take him to the new house before you mention moving and get him excited about it. let him pick colors of paint charactors and help out. Make him apart of the transition. He may surprise you when he makes the decision on how much more comfortable he is with them.
    Defiantly ignore the crying and fits. My now 11 year old was so difficult with eating and doing things whined forever it felt like but when i let him help make dinner choose peas or corn things we were eating, which way to go to school, colors of clothes to wear and that got interesting, things changed he changed. Always let him know you WILL be back when leaving him. Play hide and seek with him it helps with separation anxiety.
    jeric

    Answer by jeric at 4:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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