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im 21 and pregnant,and already a mother.should i keep my baby?

im 21 years old and currently a freshman in college and the mother of a 6 year old daughter.
i just fount out that im 10 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of 8 months. were very much in love and planned on moving in together in 7 months.
i told him i was pregnant and he wants me to abort it. he feels its the best decision, because we cant afford a kid,he feels if we have the kid we'll both have to drop out of school and well live in poverty.and our dreams will go out the door.
deep down i want this baby. me having had prior abortions i promised i would never put my body threw that just scared that maybe we will drop out of school and be on welfare and never be able to give my kids the life they deserve.he mentioned adoption too, but i could never do that.
on an average we make about 2000 a month
im worried about the financial aspects of it.
can we afford a another kid?
we both have no family thats willing to help

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (51)
  • you can always get help untill u r able to get off the help. but IMO u made this baby , u laid down spread ur legs and made this baby. and now that reality has set in hes running from responsiblity. : ( not cool.
    keep ur baby dump this loser. unless its rape abortion is not an option in my eyes. if anything u can give the baby up for adoption.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • there is other options other then aborting. why not look into adoption? but just because your having a baby an in college doesnt mean your dreams will go away.. im doing it still an my son is 6 months old :) so its possible!! good luck!

    Answer by akalei at 4:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • One of the 1st investments you should make after aborting or giving birth is some effective birth control. IMO abortion shouldn't be used as a birthcontrol method, you said you've had several. Its a tough decision, if you can't afford it then its not really fair to make it suffer, on the other hand, its a kid. How'd you do it w/ your 6 yr old? Sure it was hard & you had to sacrifice but are you SURE you can't afford it? Very rarely in life is it easy or go according to plan, some of the best things happen when we don't plan (I'm assuming you didn't plan your daughter @ 15 either & bet you wouldn't give her up for the world...) If you have to drop out of school (not saying you're going to have to, just saying "worst" case senario) are you going to end up hating the kid? What kind of degree are you pursuing? Are you gonna be done soon or do you have years ahead of you? Not trying to be mean, just giving you things to think about

    Answer by Nyx7 at 4:17 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Have the baby. You want it and you should have it. I recently thought I might be pregnant and even though my life could not use another baby and my situation could not really get much worse, I would have kept it. I would not be able to look at my DD if I had an abortion. I did when I was younger and do I regret it now? No I don't but now that I have my DD I would take anything that comes because my DD did not come at a very good time in my life and I would not want to go a day without her. I have left her at my moms for a few hours and have called several times to talk to her(she's 2 1/2) how could I abort something that will eventually be another wonderful baby. I do not belive it is murder or anything like that. I just think the possible child would be another light in my life just like my DD is!

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 4:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • If I had a boyfriend encouraging abortion I would dump him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I am hoping since you are in college and a single mother that you are taking advantage of going to school for free. If you are truly in love with him I don't agree with just up and leaving. Maybe he's just worried or scared, not running from responsibility. And if you really want this baby you will make it work wether or not he decides to stay. I'm sure you know this but there is all sorts of assistantce with out having to exactly be on welfare, (and so what if you do have to do that for a little bit until a you get a degree and get your feet under you) Assistance with child care costs, reduced lunches for the older child at school, WIC, section 8, food stamps. These sorts of things are so descrete these days that your food stamps are on a debit type card that you swipe yourself. There is NO SHAME in taking care of your kids no matter what goverment programs you may or may not be on.

    Answer by CLewis1226 at 4:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I would keep it I am 23 and have three kids well almost pregnant with our third. I am going to school and were bring in about the same income and were not on welfare and we get but great! Our children our a greatest blessing in life. If you didn't want a kid you should have been on BC. But honestly I think its a bit selfish of him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You can still be successful at this age with 2 kids. This doesn't have to mean all your hopes and dreams are out the door. Go to school part time and work part time you can make it work.

    Answer by CLewis1226 at 4:27 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I make 4100 a month, have a 4 yr old and i'm pregnant. I question whether I can afford this second child now. There are ways for you both to finish school and have this baby. But it will be hard and it will take a lot of work. Do what you feel is best for you and your 6 yr old... I have had an abortion myself. When my DD was 2.5, birth control failed and I was dating at the time. I looked at my life and said if I have another child right now, I will be a single parent struggling to feed two children. I decided to choose giving my DD the best that I could rather than having a second child. Make the choice for YOU and your DD, NOBODY ELSE!

    I am 100% pro choice!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • If you want the baby, don't listen to his what-ifs. It sounds like he is scared and not quite ready to grow up and be a daddy. As for you guys having 2000 a month to work with and being worried about it, O_o is all I can say. My income is less than 1000 a month, I have a child and a recently disabled husband at home. Yes, we get food stamps and WIC, but that's all the help we get. All our other bills are paid from my income, and we usually have a tiny bit left over to save and for unbudgeted needs. Sit down, write out all your expenses, see what you're spending where, if you can change your spending habits to be more frugal, that sort of thing. We use a spreadsheet program to track all our monthly expenses so we know exactly how much is left at the end of each month.
    That said, your life won't come to a screeching halt just because he says it will. It will only do that if you give up, so DON'T GIVE UP lol.

    Answer by preacherskid at 4:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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