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what am i to do? my husband doesnt know common sense when we are broke

we have 44 dollars in our bank! most of our paychecks go to his stupid soda habits, redbull, monsters, doritos bags. and every saturday he gets a hair cut that costs 13.50 including a tip. which i totally disagree on! he is in the army and he can have his head shaved or a tapper cut style. he does not like being bald and wont do it to save money for this family. well guess what, i dont get mani, pedis, facials or my haircuts/colored. why should he? i dont buy new clothes for my self every sat. most of our money goes to half rent, insurance, credit card bills, utilities, food, gas etc. we are left over with 300 every 2 weeks. thats not including groceries. around 200 or less after all bills are paid/food/gas in car. he purposely ignores me when i bring up haircuts. he was playing world of warcraft months ago. i cancelled it. then i put it back for like 2 weeks because he promised me he would stop smoking in return to play cont.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • world of warcraft. but i cancelled it again because it costs 16.95 a month and we cant afford that. so we argue daily over his indulgence in things he does not need. he doesnt need a hair cut! for what so he can have a tapper instead of being bald who cares! money in the bank is more important to me then his dumb head! money for food, water and gas in the car makes more sense to me. and i love keep money in the bank to have until the next paycheck so we are not negative or have less then 100 left over. like we do now. we been to marriage counseling and he doesnt like them or likes being told what to do. he says its his money and he earned it and he isnt going to live a miserable life because he cant get a damn haircut. well i am living a miserable life because i dont get nothing for myself! i do all the cleaning, washing dishes, laundry, taking care of 3 kids and a baby who is 2 months old and he BF's...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i couldnt even use the laptop with out wanting to get up and take my son away and rock him to sleep because my husband is a idiot who thinks our son is spoiled rotten and he just sits there miserably looking at the tv while kind of holding and rocking my son in a cradle position. instead of getting his ass up and rocking our son to sleep. i had to get up and take him away and nurse him until he fell asleep.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • No advice. Sounds like my hubby. Hugs dear - hope they eventually grow up.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • You know,a set of hair clippers will run you about 20 bucks. They pay for themselves with the 1st cut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • He is acting irresponsible and putting you in a bad position.Take his debit card and give him cash, when it is gone it is GONE!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • OP here- Hes turning 27 in August, i am 27 already.. i been with him since august 2003. got married dec 3, 2003. we been to counseling twice and it didnt help him. he says i need to change too but i dont.. there is nothing i do wrong. i take care of 3 kids and do everything in the house. im stressed out because my 5 yr old and 4 yr old are getting bratty. i dont drive because of major anxiety over it but he has no right to be angry over that. he spends money left and right and still doesnt care if we are broke. he says thats life. we would have money if he stops. i cant even believe we are still married when we clash 24.7
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • we have clippers. but he never can find the sizes he needs. every time we go to target/walmart etc they dont have any. there just clippers to go bald. and the day he (2 weeks or more ago) said i will give you my debit card, stop buying cigs can i play the game? i said ok. what happens? he goes in my purse takes my debit and goes against what he said and says to me" its my money and i can do whatever i want, i need a debit card what do u want me to do if i need to drink or whatever" this is what he does to me all the time. promises me stuff and doesnt go through with it the next day. i know for a fact he is still smoking and he lies to my face and actually looks at me when he does it. he is always making excuses to leave the house. like to throw the trash when he hates doing that or says " i gotta go in the car to find XX " takes him 5 mins just to run down stairs to leave his bag in the car. it takes me less then a min to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • the same things he does. he is forever lying to me but its not ok for me to lie to him. he says our whole marriage has been a lie! but because of me not him lol sure
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Is there anyway that you can learn how to cut his hair the way he likes it? Then you could do it for him once a week and save money that way. I cut my dh's hair and now he won't go to a barber even if I tell him to,lol.
    He is being selfish, In my opinion and I'd be upset with him too.
    There has to be some kind of compromises or middle gound you guys can agree to come to. He may be earning the money but you are a family unit and he needs to act like it. But you can't tell most men what they need to do, they need to think they came up with the ideas on thier own,lol.
    Look for coupons for the beverages and foods that he likes. Keep your eyes open for sales and stock up on those items at that time and keep them put away and bring out as needed.
    Maybe he will begin to appreciate what you are trying to do and he'll make an effort to quit being such a butthead.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • He's military. He knows the importance of paying his bills. I don't think you should treat him like a child and cancel his games though. He's a big boy. He can cancel them if the fee interferes with paying bills. On our base haircuts are $8.00 and these guys don't get them every week! My SO is military and he takes really good care of him, no junk food. I find it irresponsible that your man eats unhealthy. I wouldn't sweat the bills though. It's his butt if he screws up and could be kicked out of the military. I'd remind him of that. Just wondering, is his hair cut person a female or male? Is it the same person each week?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

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