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Why is it that a SAHM is expected to do EVERYTHING!?!?!

so i just read a question about the lady whos hubbys is calling from work worndering why the house isnt spotless already. and another replies that her hubby gets mad that she is able to take a nap during the day. this is so insane to me! staying at home with your children is a priveledge, yes, but it is also boring, tedious, and very frustrating. mine is always complaining like im the reason he isnt where he wants to be in life, like if her were single he would have his dream job and be rolling in dough! whats up with the resentment? you figure that someone would be happy to have someone at home taking care of their child and house!


Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Don't know. I only get that crap online. My husband doesn't care what I do all day. In fact he calls or texts me a million times a day to tell me to go rest and take a break or do something I want. He never complains about the house. But he also doesn't want to help me clean it at all (although he promised to pick up the slack and help more after the baby is born next month--our 5th).
    But we made that decision when we got married and had kids. I'd stay home and he'd work and that was it.
    I do expect him to help out and I refuse to be a maid or slave to my family. My kids clean up after themselves and I try to get my husband to do the same (he's worse than the kids).
    It's only online that I get bashed for not doing everything and letting my husband and kids live a life of leisure.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:47 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I work, go to school and I am trying to Get my own business off the ground and I still have to hear this why isn't the yard done it would be nice if the yard was clean or the house was clean.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:52 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Lol, I work full time and STILL deal with that!

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 5:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • WOW! You are the first SAHM that I've heard state that it's "boring, tedious, and very frustrating". Most scream at the top of their lungs that they have little time to get everything done.

    I would say that whenever anyone sees someone living the way that they would like, jealousy and resentment set in. When it comes to spouses, if they are harboring resentment, they need to understand that you being a SAHM was a joint decision that they (SO) agreed to and if they have a problem with it, then ya'll need to discuss it again to figure out exactly why you BOTH decided to this arrangement and then the SO needs to back off of your shit about doing EXACTLY what you BOTH agreed too.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • i am a stay at home mom and i feel like it is my "job" to have the house clean and the children tended to. but the best part of it all is when my husband comes home from a harder days work then mine and says" how was your day dear?" he always says everything looks so nice and all. i guess i am more blessed than i thought!! JK. i guess some men are like that.

    Answer by eva123 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Let him stay home for a day and do what you do. Trust me he would appreciate what you do alot more. I work full time and do everything. One day my husband had to stay home with our 7 month old and when I got home he said "Wow, I would never be able to do that all day every day," and all he did was take care of her, he didn't even do any house work. Men are not designed to understand it. Don't stress yourself wondering why he doesn't get it.

    Answer by moviemom22 at 5:50 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I tell him if you want it done you should do it and the nagging stops. LOL

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:55 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Um, if I were a man, I would expect the same thing. Why is he supporting you to sit on your butt? Honey, anyone can take care of kids. Hey, did you know that some moms actually work full time, take care of the house, the children and their husband? Really! If you stay home, you have time, trust me. Watching kids HAS NEVER prevented me from doing all of the above!


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Really, all you SAHM are going to wonder why your husband is going to eventually leave your butts. You need to work too! He should not have to work him butt off and then come home and do the crap that you should be doing all day! Grow up!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I'm SO blessed my husband isn't one of the jerks some women describe. It would be a cold day in hell before he thought he was supporting me to sit on my butt, or that I was OBLIGATED to make sure the house is in tip top shape before he came home. We have 3 kids, and he's intelligent enough to know that our house will NEVER be spotless...unless I clean top to bottom while the kids are visiting Nana. I do however, keep the house picked up because *I* hate having a messy house, and he tells me how much he appreciates MY hard work. He's had to be home alone with all 3 kids, and attempted to clean he KNOWS it's no easy task. My hubby also cooks sometimes...oh how i'm such a horrible wife! How dare I allow him to cook (which he LOVES to do) after he's worked all day. He even helps with the dishes, and I don't ask! He also has chores...trash, picking up dog poo, etc...and he does it willingly.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 6:15 PM on Jun. 23, 2010