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Is there anything that I can do as a mom for my 33 yr who does not care about anything including himself?

My son lived with his now wife for almost 10 yrs. and two years ago got forced into marriage. Her parents decided that they wanted her to have a baby and they felt that she was getting too old (29) . They had some issues where they would plan an activety but she would decide at the last second that she was going to get together with some of her girlfriends instead. She had requested that he cook her something for dinner but when she got home she didn't want it. They also had some financial problems and he got to the point where he didn't want to pay any bills. She has a tendacy to buy on impulse, recently she purchased a camper without his knowlege. He rently lost his job to lay off and is collecting unemployment. He has expressed that he doesn't care about anything including how he looks. He does take showers but does not change his clothes and will shave here and there. As him mom is there anything that I can do for him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in Health

Answers (5)
  • Offer to pay for some marriage counseling (assuming they cannot afford it) Or just be there for him, be his ear. Try to involve him in activites that will make him feel good about himself (rebuilding a car, etc)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Oh man... sounds like he is depressed and unable to deal with his wife. If he were my friend, I'd tell him to runrunrun from a spouse who was so selfish and disinterested. Maybe he knows he should but is afraid to admit defeat? Be there for him no matter what. Before my first marriage ended for similar reasons actually, my mom never said my ex was a bad person. She would only criticize his bad decisions and gently remind me that I suffered the consequences on his behalf since he didn't care and bill collectors could come after me. Had she bashed, I think i would have been less receptive to her support when time to quit finally came 'round. Good luck, Mama. Watching your child suffer is tough.

    Answer by silversmom at 6:12 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • maybe he should get some counseling to decide if he wants to be with her anymore. I would also ask him if he thinks this marriage is worth saving? Then go from there. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:31 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • He needs some psychological counseling. And you know it too easy for your son to just sit and mope and not get himself into the working world again. It is time he gets some help and time he stops "wallowing". Try to suggest he get help. Then give him a serious talk and maybe a "Pep talk". Get him motivated. But first he needs help. And his wife could use some help too,for sure.She sounds like a high maintenance selfish type.I don't think he should have to put up with her behavior. If she just wants to hang out with her girlfriends,she is trying to lead a single girl's life,IMO.

    Answer by gertie41 at 8:30 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Did they have kids?

    Help him get counseling. He really needs it. Watch for any suicidal signs (not trying to scare you, but better to be safe). He sounds really depressed. Have you talked to any of his friends? Does he have any siblings that he's close to?

    Answer by ARmom at 2:17 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

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