Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help! What are the rules with a 17 year old boy?

My 17 year old son seems to think it is ok to spend the night with his 18 year old girlfreind. They act like its the way it should be. What am I missing? When did this become everyday behavior? Am I alone on this? Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by cmrbored at 6:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • No your not alone, but he is seventeen and will be eighteen soon. After that, he is really going to try and take that adult role! However if he is living in your house...then your rules still apply. If he likes spending so much time with his GF then let their butts move in together as soon as he turns eighteen.

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 6:21 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Good lord, BE THE PARENT AND SAY NO!!! It is NOT okay for him to be spending the night with his girl friend.
    Your house, your rules and if you don't want him to spend the night with his girlfriend, say no! He's not 18, he's not an adult and e is STILL your DEPENDANT!!

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 6:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I would call the cops for kidnapping lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • It is NOT ok for your son to be spending the night with his girlfriend. You need to set this straight. Are there other siblings that could be affected or influenced by this behavior? He needs to respect himself, his girlfriend and your family where he is living by your rules. Does he have a curfew? If not he should. IHe should not be staying out all night with his girlfriend.

    Answer by QandA at 6:29 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Come on ppl, don't you remember what it was like being a teenager? I know things are worse now, but "Good lord, BE THE PARENT AND SAY NO!!!" is not a good piece of advice. If saying no was that simple nobody would have any problems with their teenagers. A parent can say no and the teenager can just get up and leave. You cannot lock them in the house. And their panishment cannot be harder that "no allowance from now on". Would any of you do something worse to punish their teens? I don't think so.

    OP, no it is not ok to spend every night with his girlfriend. But since he does it, you should make a deal like "you're allowed to spend 1-2 days a week there and we will keep giving you pocket money but only if you follow that rule". That way he will think he's getting his way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • My step sons had tried this crap and I said "NO" yes, they were ticked, but tough. It was my house adn my rules.

    They wanted money to pay for their sports, then they followed my rules. They wanted clothes, my rules. You want to use the car? My rules.

    Were they crabby and nasty about it? Yes, but they got over it. By just saying "OK, but not every night" you are being just as bad as those other irresponsible parents who let their kids do it.

    I ws told by one peers mother that my kids would rebel if I continued being that strict. They did not rebel.
    You are not your child's friend. You are their parent and your job is to raise them to be responsible.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • to the last anon, i think your nuts! hell no it isnt ok! i remember being in high school and i was the only girl in my class who had a boyfriend and wasnt allowed to stay the night with them. my mom thought it was inappropriate and so do i. but as others have stated he will do what he wants when he can, and yes there are other ways of punishing a teen that age, he is still able to be grounded isnt he? dont you still support him? does he drive your car? live in your house? depend on you for most things in life? i would tell him that i didnt think it was cool and they should be thinking about the consequences! but he will be an adult soon and probably do it anyway

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • I'd bet ANON :38 Either doesn't have teens OR wants to be their friend. You are not your child's friend. You are their PARENT!
    I stand behind my beliefs and my children respect me for it. My 20 yr old twin boys are still virgins and yes they do date and no they aren't gay. One is getting married at the end of the month and were they allowed to spend the night with their girlfriends, NO!!!

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:40 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.