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Please help! My 9 month old won't sleep unless we're near him!!

He sleeps in his own room and was doing totally fine until about 2 weeks ago. Sometimes he's okay when we put him down for bed....and then he'll wake up around 2am for his normal bottle (yes he still wakes up for a bottle but that's not our issue) and will go back to sleep only if we're holding him or patting his back. He'll go back to sleep and wiill jump up as soon as we leave the room! Sometimes he starts it right away at bedtime. We have a routine, etc...seems like separation anxiety, which I know is normal. I have a 7 year old as well...we don't want to give in because my older son slept with us until he was 5!! But it hurts to hear him cry...any advice? I've been using the ferber method. But cried last night around 4am...and put him in bed with me..

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Asked by NJMom2Tyler at 10:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (-15 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It sounds like seperation anxiety to me. My 10 1/2 month old is going through it too. Honeslty, I just hold him and deal with it. I can't stand to hear him cry either so even though a lot of people think I'm gonna be sorry (which I probably will be) for holding him and letting him sleep with me, I would rather do that than have him cry.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 10:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • OP here...the second we come into his room he stops crying and we lay him down and he falls right back to sleep....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • My son slept with me till 5 also, but, I was single and didn't mind. LOL Still wouldn't with subsequent kids.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • It does sound like seperation aniexty.

    Does the bed time routine include rocking or some other parent-led soothing to sleep? If so, start weaning him off that. Get him down into the crib at that moment when he's JUSt fallen asleep. Stand in the doorway. When he wakes, simply say "It's ok, I'm right here. Go to sleep." Work from THAT spot. Just verbally reassuring, singing, whatever you need to do. BUT don't expand to picking up and rocking, etc. When you can get that work, put him down BEFORE he's nodding off and go to your door spot. If that works then move farther into the hall - still close to reassure him but not *in* the room. If you can get the bedtime routine to work like that, the rest will fall into place. It can take a while, but it pays off. My youngest would make herself sick if we left the room and didn't return quickly upon her cries. We did this gradual process and it worked well.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • Cosleep

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:28 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

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