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dh drinking all the time and i think i love someone else

Me and my dh have been together 5yrs and have a 2yr old son
me and dh have been having problems, because of his drinking its getting worse and i really love him so have been trying to make it work.. he told me one day he wanted a divorce after being gone 2 days straight drinking b/c i was mad that he was drinking and thats what he is going to do.. but we made it work, now when he drinks if i get upset he will be like u know what will happen if u bitch about it, so im like well leave then i dont care im tired of being the only one who cares anyways.. he wont leave
well his friend well they arnt best friends or anything they know eachother has seen how he treats me and we have so much in common hes a great guy he wants to be with me and wants to leave his girlfriend because they arnt happy and they want different things but he doesnt want to loose his son.. me and dh are okay and i know he loves me but he chooses drinking over

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • over his family.. i want to be with someone that wants to settle down and be happy, but dh has told me he isnt going to stop drinking... me and this guy have been friends longer than dh and him, but i dont want to hurt his gf and i dont know what to do i feel in love with this guy and dh and me have drifted apart since he punched me in the face to drunk to know who or what he did.. i really have feeling for this guy what would u do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • oh and dh wasnt like this when me met he started being a ass when are son was born... i want a good role model for my son... and this other guy his girlfriend is always with friends and never has her son her sons always with grandma, he doesnt have feelings for her but wants to stay for his son he keeps asking me what he should do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Well momma it sounds to me that you really need to search within your heart and truly think about what you really want. Your hubby is an drunk and you are seeing another man that has a child and GF. Your child is who really needs you right now whatever decision you make is gonna affect your child so you need to think of him and do what is best for your son. What i think is best for both of is that you get away from your hubby before he hits or does something to your child and/or you again. Once you get this drunk of a hubby out of the home or your out of the home then go from there. Jumping right into a relationship may or may not be the best thing to do right away. Search your heart and see what comes from that search always go with your gut feeling.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Okay drunks suck my dad was one and my SO at the time was turning into one. I would figure out what you want and how much more of this you want to take. I would also decide if this relationship is worth pursuing . I would also make some plans for my own life. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • You should leave your husband because he is a drunk, not because of this other guy. AND, before you start anything with this guy, he needs to leave his girlfriend first. Have some respect for yourself & don't get involved in a Jerry Springer-ish type drama. You know this other guys wife & your SO will make a mess out of it all. Take baby steps PLEASE!!!!

    But, yeah. Anyone who threatens divorce in order to try to save his alcohol addiction needs to be divorced. You need to leave that loser.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:28 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • i remember you posting your Q the other day, and my answer is still the same, your hubby needs help, but doesnt want help so therefore there isnt anything you can do for him. only your self and your child. personally i think its a terrible idea to turn around and date his friend, a five year relationship and a kid means a lot and i think it would be rather bad to go for his friend especially when he has a fam of his own and his gf obviously knows you, i think that would be rather slutty. so no, ditch the hubby and the friend, and go out and get yourself established and then worry about finding a guy.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:53 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I wouldn't get too involved with the new guy yet and deal with what's at hand first. Harder to do than say, I know. However, I do think you should get to a lawyer and file for a divorce and get temporary orders with a motion to vacate and get your husband to leave (court-ordered). This way, you and the kids can stay in their current surroundings.

    Deal with all that and then see what's happening with the new guy when you're ready for it.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:00 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I think the other posters here are right. You should leave your husband, get out on your own and start going to therapy. There is a lot of damage that is done by being in a relationship like this and you need to heal. I would also say forget the other guy. He needs to work on his relationship. Who's to say that in 5 years he won't be walking out on you for the next best thing? If you have gone to therapy and have done the work on yourself that you need to do your next relationship stands a much better chance of standing the test of time!
    ErinRenee815

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 9:35 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • leave your husband because he is a drunk , not because of another man. also, what makes you think this guy is prince charming if he is planning on leaving his family (which 9/10 i bet the gf doesnt even know he wants to leave) for you? you need to focus on yourself and your child. take time out for you, dont be in a rush to jump into a new relationship. both of these guys are no good. focus on bettering yourself and your situation. men will always be around.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 7:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

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