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Am I being unreasonable?

I am 39 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby, I can't even stand the thought of having sex right now. I am in pain, constantly uncomfortable and feeling very unsexy. Soooo, for me sex is not even an option right now! My husband is angry with me. He feels it is my duty to give it to him. Especially since the dr said at my last visit to have plenty of it so I can go into labor. At this point I could care less about having sex to put me into labor. My husband keeps trying to initiate it but I just don't want it!!!!! I'm hate it when he is this angry with me, should I just give him what he wants whether I want it or not?

 
SWEETPEAS3MOM

Asked by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 8:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 20 (8,512 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • No I don't think you should give in. This time in your life should be about you and how you feel. He needs to understand that you don't feel good or sexy. It's not you "duty" to please him. It sucks that he's mad at you but if he loves you he should understand and get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Your actions and attitude says to him that you don't want him. To him, it is not rejection of "it", it is the rejection of him. That hurts, and hurt in husbands manifests as anger. Forget about yourself for a while, and concentrate all your thoughts and affections on your husband. That's what truly makes for the act of love, which is precisely what sex within the confines of marriage is. And it is supposed to always be more about the object of our love than about ourselves.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:17 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I totally agree with Nanny.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Have you shared with him in and undefensive way, that it hurts, that you are very uncomfortable, and that you feel totally un-sexy? Also have you thought about the fact that he's thinking, "this could be that last chance I get for 6 weeks!"
    jreneei

    Answer by jreneei at 8:48 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Have you talked to him about how you feel? I'm 37 weeks so I am totally with you on not feeling "in the mood" right now. Plus between my belly and his, it's hard to find a comfortable position! I do still try to give my husband back rubs, make his favorite meals, etc so he knows I'm still thinking of him, but he also understands how I feel and doesn't push.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I totally agree with Nanny. There are other things you can do besides sex to enjoy each other.

    But with that being said: I think sex was what threw me into labor, they say the sperm helps to soften the cervix and gets you on the road. So there may be benefits to you too :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • He thinks it's your duty to give it to him.  That's unbelievable to me.  You are not property. You are a person and if you don't want to do it don't.  Don't ever think you have to do something you don't want to.  He should respect your feelings. It's a 50- 50 split if you wnat to have sex there is 2 of you involved.

    mommom2000

    Answer by mommom2000 at 9:44 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I say if your dr said to do it so you'll go into labor i would be all over that if i was that miserable being preggo. I know how you feel sometimes but just tell your hubby to take it slow and easy on you and i know you might not be into it at first but i bet if you try you might slowly start to like it and then maybe you'll go into labor. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I'm only 25 weeks, but sex is painful, I feel frumpy, and have ZERO sex drive what-so-ever. Like Nanny said, my husband takes this as a personal rejection...no matter how many times I sweetly explain to him what the deal really is, their ego's are very fragile. And it very much so manifests as anger. I know when it's been too long, because my hubby gets pissy.

    But, it is not your DUTY to please him. Has he met Palmela Handerson, or Hangelina Jerk-Me yet (lol..that's what my hubby calls his hands)? Maybe you can make that exciting for him, so you don't have to actually have sex.

    But he does need to understand, you're not REQUIRED to give him sex. What does he think is gonna happen the 6 weeks PP you're not supposed to?
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:31 AM on Jun. 24, 2010