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husband made me mad

What would do if you woke up to a list written by your husband telling you all the chores he wanted done. An example is we don't have a dish washer so I washed up all the dinner dishes last night. We ate around 7 so I washed the dishes up, but didn't dry and put them away. So on the list is put away the dishes, and he added a mean note how he couldn't get a bowl for his breakfast because there were too many dishes in the strainer. The list went on and on listing things he thought weren't clean enough. I am boiling, but wonder if I am over reacting?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • That is crazy!! Do you go to his job and tell him how it needs to be done? Of course not because that would be crazy. If my husband ever treated me that way I would probably give up the SAHM thing. I would go out and get a job and tell him that the household duties are now 50% his. I might even make him a list.

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I'd leave him a nice little note with a To Do list on it as well but that's just me!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:41 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I would say make sure he has a list of to do's when he gets home of things that make you annoyed that could be corrected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • That's just rude on his behalf! You don't need to be belittled like that! Yes, he goes to work and brings home the bacon, but chances are, he views your "job" as SAHM to be a luxury.

    If my husband did that to me, I am not sure what I would do. On one hand, if he has a problem with something not getting done, then he could leave you a little love note with a "by the way..." on it. On the other hand, if you jump at his mention of a list, and get everything done, then you become the obedient little wifey, and he will think that it is okay to do the same thing again in the future. It's a tough situation.

    Maybe at a good point, leave him a little note telling him that you were offended by the note. Ask him not to do that again, and tell him (like the other mom above said) that you don't dictate how he does his job, so he shouldn't tell you how to do yours. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Wow! He can't just pull a bowl out of the strainer? What a lazy asshole.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 9:49 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Gin, that's what I was thinking lol.

    No, you're not overreacting. I'd make a list right back for him, or go to his job and look over his shoulder, tellin ghim "You're doin' it wrong." lol.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:55 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Well if my hubs did that to me I'd tell him where he could cram his note and then I would deliberately not do a darn thing around the house that day! If HE wants the dishes put away then HE can do it! I would go on strike until he stops treating me like 'hired help' and if he wants the house clean, laundry washed, hot food on the table-- HE can do it!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:00 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • wow! I'd be so mad they'd be able to hear me scream from other countries! There would be quite a few choice words spoken! I'd sit his butt down the instant he got home and explained that I was not a child or an employee he can order around. Would it have killed him to help out and put the dishes away himself?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:01 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I thought of writting him a note but know that will cause a huge blowup, and my kids get so upset with those. He is a boss at his work and he comes home and still tries to run it that way. The thing is I feel like the maid and I am sick of it. He comes in sits down and tells me to hurry up with his dinner. I bring him his meal and hand it to him, and then we eat. After he eats, he will either leave it on the table, or if we are eating with a movie, lay it on the floor next to his chair. He many times will then look at me and tell me to hurry and take it away, it is making the living room look messy. I always do, because I don't like fighting. The times I get mad is when he leaves and doesn't bother taking it in. I blame myself for even ever letting this start, as we have been married 20 years. It is when he gets mad, he yells and screams and will completely ignore me and the children for days and days at a time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • LOL why didn't he just put them away until he got to the bowl??
    I work every Saturday, and I will leave a note with a list of stuff to be done. But, it's not just chores...honestly, I will put on the note that he needs to check his youngest son's bed to make sure he didn't wet it. Of course, his son will say no, but he will just leave the sheets on the bed, and the next time he is here, he will crawl right back into bed. I check his bed every morning that he is here.
    What's funny is that I didn't have to work on Tuesday, my SO asked me if I needed a list of what needed to be done. LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

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