Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

what do u do with a 14yr. old who thinks she can do what she wants anytime?

goes to coney island at 5pm an comes back at 1:30am an think its no problem an talks back to me with attitude cause i took her cell phone. what is wrong with this girl?

 
queeny2

Asked by queeny2 at 10:20 AM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (38 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • You never taught her discipline & respect. It's never too late to start. You need call on your inner bitch & make her understand that you are the boss & the more she doesn't listen, the more rights she will have taken away. The more you let her get what she wants, the more she learns how to walk all over you. You need to set boundaries & reward her when she does good. Just dob't give up, no matter how much she stresses you out.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:29 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • umm not to be mean or rude, but you are whats wrong with her, she is being a regular teen and if i would have gone anywhere and come back at 1 am even at age 16 my mom would have killed my ass and i knew it so i didnt dare try it! your simply thinks that you wont do anything to her, and she may be right seeing as how you only took her cell (or that s all you said you did to her anyway) if she was mine, she would be grounded for the next few weeks with NO phone, friends, computer, games, NO FUN, just school and schoolwork, and chores. she would LEARN to respect me or pay the consequences. do not let a child talk back to you!
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • She needs nothing, but, 3 hots and a cot. Take everything but her bed and some simple meals. Tell her she is going no where. Have her do plenty chores and if all else fails, whoop her butt or take her on a juvenile detention center scare tour.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:25 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • So take away her privilages. Don't just take her phone, but take her tv, ipod, her door for privacy, etc. Don't just tell her who is boss SHOW HER.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 10:28 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • It sounds like she has grown accustomed to having her own way. It's pretty hard to retrain at 14, but I would be found trying. Take the stuff you have provided for her, and tell her she will get it back when she learns to listen to, obey, and respect her parents. Until then, she will have only the very basic provisions of life--a mattress on the floor, food, and a couple of changes of clothing. Love must be tough in these situations!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:30 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • At 14 she should not be going to hang out at coney island yet. With friends or by herself, doesn't matter it should not be happening. As for coming in a 1:00 in the morning, she should be sitting in her room with her bed and clothes. No t.v., no radio, definitely no phone or net. Not only that but I'd be checking into what the legal curfew is and what could happen if she is caught doing whatever it is she is doing out so late breaking that curfew. Then she will be the state's problem. I don't know what else to say other than to tighten the reigns now or you'll end up a grandmother or parent to a drug addict or she just won't come home one day. If I had done anything like this, I'd still be in my room.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Another thing...i wasn't a bad kid. But, at 17 I had a curfew of 11. I came back at 11:15, with the reason of someone had a flat and my car was block in and I had to wait for it to be fixed. She still about beat me and grounded me and moved my curfew to 10 from then on. I never was late again...
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:47 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • If you start with effective parenting skills when they are 18 mo you can avoid a lot of problems when they are teens. Punishment does not stop bad behavior or teach good behavior.


    Try reading How to Talk So Teens Will Listen. There may be STEP or PET parenting classes in your community, check at the library, or you could read the books. It's easy to blame the kid for bad behavior but it's almost always the fault of ineffective parenting.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Oh, and i am also talking a few simple clothes and no make-up either. NOTHING, but, hard work and a bed and simple meals.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:27 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Guess what little girl...unless your paying for it, the cell phone goes away. It's not "her" cell phone...it's yours that your letting her BORROW while she's a minor IF she follows the rules. If she wants to talk back with attitude, then she can get her door taken off of her bedroom. And attitude after that she starts losing things like TV, Internet/computer use, going out at all, the list goes on!!!!
    A curfew should have been established before she left the house. You should have been the one dropping her off and picking her up, on time, so there's no excuses.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN