Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump


Recently a friend of mine who is adopted asked me to get some other moms opinions (I guess for his own peace of mind) so I offered to ask here. Here it is....If you ever had to give your child up for adoption, what would be your reason? If you think you could at all....

Thanks for your help ladies, this means a lot to him so please sincere answers only are greatly appreciated :)


Asked by MamaCharity at 11:51 AM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (456 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If I had been raped, or maybe younger than 17. I just think that a baby should have the chance at a mom/dad/family, and not a "chore' to be thrown in with everything else that a young girl finds more important than taking good care of a baby.

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 11:55 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I honestly could never do that. there are so many resources out there to help mothers in need. BUT if I had to absolutely do it it would be because I wasn't mentally stable or I was physically ill. And then I would see if a family member could adopt before choosing an outside family.

    Answer by DaGoodLife at 12:59 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Too young.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:52 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I really don't think I could do it. I mean I watch those shows on TV all the time where teenage girls with good families give their babies up for adoption. But me personally there is no way I could do it. I was 19 when I got pregnant and even though it wasn't planned and we weren't in the best place to be having children we did everything we could to get a better job and a nicer place to live so that my son would have a decent life. I was 20 when I had him and now that I am 21 and he is 15 months old. We have a nice place to live, a nice car to drive him around in and he has everything he could ask for. I think some people really don't try. But back to your question, the only way I would give my child up is if I was living on the streets and saw no way in the world to be able to take care of him/her. Maybe his mom really couldn't take care of him and wanted him to have a good life.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:56 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I'd like to ad to this, my friend recently found his birth parents so he is talking/working some of these issues out with them. However I think he's just having a hard time excepting the reasons given to him I think he just wants to know how many other people are thinking like that and why.
    I personally don't think I could, I'd rather my kids go through a few tough times with the whole pure love their parents can give them. BUT I"M that type of parent. Many ppl out there don't even like kids and get pregnant. Things happen. I'm not against adoption, I personally think the only way I could give a kid up would be in a rape case......I can't think of any other reason. There's to much help out there to be on the streets with kids. It's not likely that will happen unless your just pure lazy and don't go get the offered help out there. Most states will give help to women with children.....Thnx 4 ur answers, they are helpful

    Comment by MamaCharity (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Extreme financial distress, or perhaps violence in a relationship that I would want to protect my child from. My bff gave her ds up for adoption because she was in a relationship with a married man and couldn't take care of the baby alone.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:27 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Definitely age would be a factor, if I was too young, and not being able to provide for the child's needs (physical and mental). I'm sure my reasons would be different depending on the situation, too.

    Answer by CaLizzyMom at 12:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • My reason would be to give the child a better live.

    I would have to be down and out or on drugs and would not be able to provide.


    Answer by gammie at 12:38 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I did place my first son for adoption when I was 18. It was absolutely the hardest thing I did and I live with the loss every day. The reason I relinquished is because 1. I was in HS 2. My parents threatened to kick me out 3. My boyfriend didn't want to be a father, 4. The state refused to help me with medical expenses because I lived at home 5. I couldn't get a job because I had no car and lived an hour from the city 6. My parents insurance wouldn't cover the pregnancy. 7. I wasn't allowed to tell extended family I was pregnant because my parents refused to allow it so there was no support. None of these reasons are good enough and I regret every day buying into the bullshit I was told. I was 17 when I was pregnant, naive and scared that's it, I wish I had been stronger, I wish I had known better I just didn't, I was at the mercy of the adults I trusted. Cont....

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:45 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • If I could go back and re-do it with what I know now I never would have let my son go. I love him every day, I miss him every day, his birthday is the hardest day/month of the year...I know that I did the best I could with what I knew at the time and the situation I was in...but it doesn't make it better.
    I think if I had to tell my son these reasons, he would probably have a hard time accepting them too, all I can do if the time comes is let him know I have always loved him and it wasn't a lack of love that caused me to let him go. I hope your friend gets his answers and can find some peace, I know it can't be easy at all.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:48 PM on Jun. 24, 2010