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This is making me sick to my stomach

I am taking our son from 1/2 day day care center and 1/2 day with Grandma to an all day in-home daycare and just started the search.. Its making me sick.. he is only 2-1/2 and does not deal well with change but grandma is getting overwhelmed watching him and he crys at drop off at the center still after 1-1/2 years so I think an in home atmosphere will be best for him but how do you just trust some stranger with your whole world?? its breaking my heart.. I have only called one woman and already crossed her off the list just because of how she answered my questions and the fact she wanted to arrange a time to meet rather than have me just stop by.. which I was told was a flag to watch for - you want someone to let you come whenever I guess.. ugh.. I just don't know how to do this...


Asked by maxsmom11807 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I use to own an in-home daycare. Maybe I can help. You're right about wanting someone who will let you just drop in. If they don't want you to just drop in, they may be hiding something. Ask to see their license and their annual report from DHR. This should be posted in plain sight for you to see. Ask them about their severe weather/fire plans. Ask if he/she has a responsible substitute in case he/she is ever sick or needs to leave for something. Ask what sort of things he/she will be teaching your child, and if they will be taking any field trips. Ask how long he/she has been working with children. Try to speak to some of the other parents and get their opinion on the care provider. IMO a home-daycare is better b/c the provider is able to spend more individual time with each child. GL!

    Answer by renea20 at 12:18 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I've always preferred daycare centers. My DD cries some days but it is a much safer atmosphere

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 12:13 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I don't know of any "advice" to give you but, stand by what you want for your son. And yes, you should be able to "just drop by" unless of course it nap time because the children may be sleeping in a common area. Good luck.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I agree that it is a safer environment b/c the teachers keep check on each other, if there is just one person there, they can do whatever and you might not know.

    I would choose a GOOD daycare and be consistent with it, he is 2.5 so his anxiety should be calming down soon, let him know you are excited about his new "school" It WILL and always does get better over time.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Well, Unfortunately, we feel the same way and feel daycare Centers are safer but we can't afford full time which is why he's only going part time right now. My mom watches my niece and another baby and my son is a 2-1/2 year old boy and lots of work so she just can't do it, and by all rights, she should not HAVE to either - she offered originally but can't do it anymore. So an In home is all we can do right now.. I just cry every time I think about making a call or trying to trust someone with my whole world like this.. He's very shy and timid and in nature a very sweet active wonderful little boy but he does not do well with change either.. ugh...

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 12:20 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Keep calling. You don't have to sign him up just because you call. Don't feel bad about crossing people off the list, keep doing it if you don't feel comfortable. You should feel 100% comfortable and so should your son. If you can find someone who is willing to work with you to let you son acclimate, I think that would be best. As in, you or grandma take him like it was a playdate and stay the whole time so he gets used to the mom, kids, environment. Then you move to half-days. Then whole days. Don't just drop him off day 1 in a strange environment. If you find someone willing to be that accommodating, and ask all the pertinent questions that the previous poster who was a home-daycare provider listed, you should be able to build up trust with this woman and feel more comfortable. Trust your instincts and don't do anything you don't want to do!

    Answer by MarlaMomma at 12:41 PM on Jun. 24, 2010