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not making eye contact when we talk?

my SO and i dont argue much beyond the norm... but i noticed yesterday when we were talking he didnt want to look me in the eye to talk he was looking everywhere but me... it was just a talk about his truck and how he wanted to sell it and get a diff vehichle so it wasnt even an argument... does your SO do this what could it mean... i want him to look at me when we are having important coversations... any advice... oh and i asked him about it and all he said was "i dont know"

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 1:14 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Does he make any eye contact at all?
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 1:20 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Mine does not do this, but I know for some kids with Asperger's that can be one of the issues.

    I don't know how to help with this one. Good luck.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:21 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • That was my first though. Does he ever make real eye contact? My son makes false eye contact he will look at your mouth or forehead. If he is upset he won't look at you at all.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:22 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • yes when we just talk about anything but the second it gets serious he doesnt like to... if its a fun converstation he will but not if it has anything to do with money or something else serious like that
    jaksonsmommy

    Comment by jaksonsmommy (original poster) at 1:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • i guess almost like he is embarrased which i dont see why he would be we were just talking about him trading his truck for a car which was his idea... i just told him i dont want him to be upset about it later and if thats what he wanted to do than i was okay with it because it would save money in gas and he doesnt want to work on the truck anymore
    jaksonsmommy

    Comment by jaksonsmommy (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I agree that eye contact is important. If he doesn't make eye contact when we are talking, I ask my husband what he is looking at.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Some men have an easier time talking during important conversations by avoiding eye contact. I can't remember what my counselor told me about this, but when I talk to my teenager we have better conversations in the car and she said its because he doesn't have to look at me. My husband is the same way, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care or isn't listening, its just easier for them this way. I wish I could remember the exact words my counselor used but it made perfect sense. I wouldn't take it too personally and I wouldn't necessarily try to force him to look at you during those conversations because you could loose some thing in the process, in regard to openness.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I find that frustrating, the lack of eye contact, when I have conversations. However, I do admit that it's easier for me to have important conversations without eye contact. Like the PP mentioned in a car. He probably doesn't really know, it just feels awkward for him to make eye contact. It tends to carry more pressure when looking directly at someone.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:25 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Many men won't look a person in the eye. Mine did one time in four years but I think it was by accident! Don't take it personally
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:07 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

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