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Step childrens birthday?

I have a step son who is 3. When our son who is 4 and our daughter whos 5 months birthday rolls around we do a big party. But when its ss we just do a little dinner and cake and presents. Is this wrong? 95% of the people at our childrens party are my friends and family so thats why.

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Asked by NIKKIANDYBABY at 2:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (153 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • that seems a little unfair. JMO

    Answer by eva123 at 2:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Are your friends and family not involved in your stepson's life? I have a stepdad and if I had been treated differently from my stepbrothers I would have been very upset! Hopefully at 3 he doesn't notice yet, but he will as he grows older. My stepdad's parents were as much my grandparents as they were to my stepbrothers, and my inlaws are as much my kids(from my previous marriage) grandkids as they are to "our" (my husband and I) kids.

    Answer by missanc at 2:34 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Eva but if we invited all his friends and family it would be around 10people...Thats why we do a dinner and cake and invite them

    Comment by NIKKIANDYBABY (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I have 2 step children and 3 bios. (1 with my current DH.) All of the kids have the same options for parties and they choose what they want to do. I don't know that what you're doing is "wrong," but I would have to think that the kids are going to notice a difference as they get older. It could be pretty hurtful to your step son, and confusing for the other children.

    Answer by Scuba at 2:35 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • yes, very unfair. I treat my ss the same. And when he's at his mom's his younger brother (from her and not my hubby) gets christmas gifts and stuff as well. It's far better to treat them all the same so no one feels left out. Besides I love my ss as my own.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I agree, it is unfair. Right now he might not notice how your are treating him differently But he will some day and not like you for it.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Miss ss was created from an affair. We just started getting him around 1.5. My family hasnt been involved with him yet. They know about him and they accept him but hes enevr been brought around since we have such little visitation. It gos back to court every 6 months. BTW bm throws him a big party. I wouldnt mind throwing him a party cause i na sense we do we just dont go all out cause not that many people come.

    Comment by NIKKIANDYBABY (original poster) at 2:37 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Does your ss live with you fulltime? Or is with you at least enough to have some friends around your home? If so then yes, not having a party for him is unfair. Otherwise I would at least have your family over for dinner and a cake for him on his special day.

    Answer by jojuzach at 2:38 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Louis...Well in all honestly I dont think at this point my family would show. My mom and sisters and brothers would but not all my extended family thats why we just keep it his side and my hub prefers that I dunno why. I think as he egts older things will change.

    Comment by NIKKIANDYBABY (original poster) at 2:38 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • OK A BIT MORE INFO...DOES HE LIVE WITH YOU? If so then of course you have to do the same thing. If he does not the assumption is he is having the same party your darling children are having while with the other parent. IF that is the fact then what you are doing is fine. Make him feel special as he most certainly is.

    Good luck with all step child concerns I am the mother of three of which two of my children have i can appreciate you wanting to do whats best for your ss


    Answer by Joeydollbaby at 2:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

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