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2 Bumps

Different parenting styles

Do your SO and you have different parenting styles? My hubby and I do and he refuses to compromise. Its either he's way or no way. Because of his job he has been gone for most of ur childrens lives and I've have a set style for them that works for them and me. I'm not for spanking, I only use it as a last resort but hubby will spank for any little things. He's now telling me what to feed and what not to feed to our kids. He wants me to cut out al milk products, meats and a bunch of what he calls worthless veggies and only get fruits every couple days. He hates it when I feed them peas, greenbeans, corn, carrots and olives, etc. He says that arent as healthy. I tried to match our parenting styles, do some of his and some of mine but he refuses to accept mine and only want what he wants. Like I wanted my daughters ears pierced he didnt so I'm waiting like he wanted. I want my baes to be kids right now hes trying to make to CONT


Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 2:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • Sounds crazy to me. If you have been the one doing most of the parenting then he should at least be willing to compromise with you on some thing. Especially what they eat. And the spanking thing I would stand up for what I believe in on that if nothing else. My SO also believes in more spanking because he was brought up with being spanked for every little thing. But I have stood my ground over that, and now there is NO SPANKING at all at least until my son gets a lot better. I have only smacked his hand one time and that was because I freaked out over him unplugging the tv and causing a spark, I was scared more than anything, but I think it should only happen in extreme cases and you should tell him that, and if telling doesn't work fight for it until you have no breath left. I would anyway. Good Luck Momma I hope things work out to the good for you.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Man that is so hard! He needs to be on the same page with you! And that is rediculous about the fruits and veggies!

    Answer by Sherrae at 2:49 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Just hearing your side, he sounds VERY unreasonable. Even going by the food pyramid, they should have a few servings of fruits each day, not every few days. Its fine to cut out milk, many vegans get by on Soy milk and almond milk. But not giving them peas and green beans? That's a little silly. I'd highly suggest some sort of family counseling or get in contact w/a dietician (maybe your ped can recommend one so its covered under insurance!) and maybe he'll listen to an expert. Good luck!

    Answer by Mom_2_cuties at 2:51 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I believe a strong, united parenting force is very important. I am not saying that you are doing a bad job at all, just that when united obviously the parenting is even more efficient. My husband and I struggled with this for the first few years and then we really decided we needed to have things change. We worked on it a little on our own and then took a wonderful class called "Growing Kid's God's Way" that really helped cement our parenting form as one united force agreeing and working with each other.

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 2:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I think you should just deside for yourself what is worth fighting for. As in how you want to raise your children. Is food worht fighting over. Or spanking.
    When he is not around do what you want. Then when he is there do it his wan. minus the spankings.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Run to a therapist.

    I don't see anything wrong with the ear piercing thing, but otherwise his behavior borders on controlling/abusive.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 2:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Any fresh vegatables are healthy what is he wanting you to feed them? He needs to grow up and realize that he can't have everything his way and spanking for little things......I don't want to turn this into a discipline debate but i'd kick my husband to the curb if he every hit our son for something small. I spank as a last resort but only once, never hard and only on the butt. It is more a less ok you have exausted al the other options (warning,timout, taking things away, grounding).

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 2:55 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Well, there's not much you can't do if he is totally unwilling to change sadly.. that's the only way things will change. why this sudden drastic "I am in control" type of attitude? Is this how he was before you married/ had kids?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • make them grow up now. He expects our 2 yr old to act like a 10 yr old. Any andvice on what I can do? I';m tired of fighting about this. Again he wont compromise with me. Its his way or no way and I dont agree with a lot of what he wants to do.

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 2:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • question? so what does he want you to feed them? tell him as long as he does the cooking and grocery shopping he can feed them whatever he likes!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 24, 2010