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how can I get my 10 yr old son to be a better listener?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • If you are talking about ignoring you when you ask him to do things, then try this. Only tell him things once (no reminding), give him a deadline in the future, and then have a consequence if he doesn't do what you have asked. The consequence can be delayed, and in fact it may even work better if it is. An example would be: I ask my daughter to take out the trash before 5 pm. I don't mention it again, and then when the deadline passes and it is not done I decide to take the kids for ice cream, but, "What a bummer! It's too bad you have to stay here and take out the trash." I only had to do this a few times before she started hearing what I had to say.

    If he's just tuning you out then get rid of the distraction - turn off the tv, computer, video game, etc. If he complains then give him an extra chore to do and tell him it's because you are too tired because you are having to repeat yourself.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:06 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Try touching him somewhere, such as the hand or shoulder when you speak to him and look him in the eye. Don't give too much information at one time either. Keep your directions and questions short and to the point.

    Answer by DawnA72 at 3:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Tell him to LOOK at you when you are talking to him. Take him away from distractors when you need to speak with him (TV, radio, internet) Have him REPEAT back to you any instructions you have just given him, OR quiz him on what you have just said. He'll get tired of the grilling and the start actively listening. We've told our DD to repeat silently in her head the things she hears. Working well now!
    We have an "I tell you something ONCE and only ONCE rule." Don't listen - consequences. Listen - reward.

    Answer by plclemo at 4:06 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • My son used to drive me crazy until his dad clued me in. I was talking too much. If I keep it short & sweet when I am asking him to do things or correcting him & he listens. If I go on & on, he reaches capacity very quickly & even though he will respond it's like the lights are out. They are, after all men ya know.

    Answer by carlye828 at 11:56 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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