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4 Bumps

can someone explain this?

Ok I work in an office building and i am one of the smallest ladies waist wise. I am a size6-8 but I am 5'11 so I look smaller. I diet, exercies, and manage my wieght to stay the way I am after 3 kids. So why is it when i try to participate in a conversation with the heavier ladies in my department i get comments like "what do you know your a twig" and "like you need to diet". PEOPLE how do you think i stay this way? If they really wanted to know how to loose the weight and keep it off wouldn't i be the person they want to listen to? I'm not trying to start anything i am really wanting to know this because it hurts my feelings and isolates me from my coworkers. So if you are a heavier woman can you tell me why?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • were you ever big to begin w/ or do you work out/eat right to stay small? most overweight women (myself included) dont want to know about how hard a skinny person has it when they've never had to lose weight from a super high number. staying skinny and getting skinny are two different things. also, they probably arent interested in losing most women they just like to complain.

    it doesnt make it right for them to be rude to you, and i doubt their comments are meant as harshly as you are taking it. unless they are taking your comments as harsh, first. im not saying you're being rude first, but as a large woman its so annoying to hear a skinny person say "well if you did what i do you'd be skinny" or "i know being fat sucks".


    Answer by okmanders at 5:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • i don't think they mean their words as harsh as it sounds. and i don't think its pure jealously that makes them say them, either. you obviously look great, effortlessly to what would you know about a heavy weight struggle? most heavy women, especially shorter ones, do look at taller ladies as 'having it all'. i've heard it said that taller women, no matter the weight, can look thinner, or carry extra weight better. it doesn't change the fact that extra weight is extra just looks better. trick of the eye, maybe?
    i wouldn't take it too personally, though. they probably just don't realize it hurts your feelings. perhaps you could talk straight to them, and tell them you do have words of wisdom/experience, and would still enjoy the conversation with them. i mean, you do work together, so its hard to avoid each other.

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:01 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I think they act this way based off their own insecurities. Perhaps you could offer to show workers how much effort you put into keeping yourself the size you are, and they may react different, or they may not. I"m not skinny, but I know a girl I use to go to school with would get sooo mad at people that tried to give her diet hints when she would complain about her size, she use to say we were all skinny (again I"m not even skinny) because that's our genetics. Some people you can't please at all. If your co-workers are this way, then chalk it up to them just not wanting to commit to the effort and lifestyle you have, and leave it at that. Let them deal with their own insecurities on their own.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:03 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • because honestly we feel intimidated. While I think it's great you kept the weight off it is really hard for some of us to grasp that we'll never be that size

    Answer by Megalicious79 at 5:00 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Some women tend to get defensive about their size, even if nobody is making an issue about it. I am a bigger woman and we used to tease our receptionist about joining our weight loss challenge when she couldn't be bigger than a size 2. But like you, she worked at staying in shape, ate well and walked every day. Maybe just open up to them. say exactly what you said here. Ask them if they would like to join you in exercising or planning meals. Next time they start in with the twig comments, tell them what you do to stay that way. I'm sure they assume you are one of the lucky ones who can eat whatever and never gain a pound!

    Answer by nmmama09 at 5:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I am guessing maybe they just don't think you would "really understand".

    Answer by Kathy-PSPR at 5:01 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat as you, but I can only imagine that it makes them kind of self-conscious to have someone much smaller worried about their size. I mean if my teeny tiny bff would start whining about her size it would make me feel like a giant slob.

    Maybe you can try joining the conversation by telling one of them they look great and you can tell they have lost weight. Then ask them how they did it. That way you are asking about them and not necessarily putting any attention on yourself... Just a suggestion, hopefully someone else will be able to help you more than I probably am. :o)

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 5:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Well I could loose 30lbs myself but that is so mean of them I know I would have all kinds of questions to ask you to get where you are and you did not get this way over night those ladies are just jealous and lazy or maybe they are having health problems they are stuck in their weight. But they can take baby steps but some don't even want to make an effort. I guess whenever someone makes a dumb comment just keep it to yourself or try to keep and stay busy so you won't have to hang out with them or hang out but not for long that way they won't get suspicious that you don't want to hang out. Just be the sweet person that you are. I wouldn't even sweat it. GL
    Remember it is up to them to make that change.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • okmanders- no i am never rude about it. Most of the time what i interject into the conversation it is a substitute that will make a recipe lower calorie and or lower fat or an exercise that would work thier target area. I stay within what they are already talking about. i never comment directly on any one persons weight.
    Such as- substituting Neufchatel and sugar sub for marscapone cheese . I gained 80 lbs with my son and lost all but 15lbs which i chose to keep because i think i was too skinny back then. I am starting to wonder if you are right...maybe these ladies really don't want to make the effort to loose the weight they just want to complain and act like they are making an effort. But why would someone do that?I originally posted this as anon because i asked this same question in a group and recieved allot of hate mail. Thank you ladies for being so nice and answering me with out any bashing. It really means allot.

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 9:47 AM on Jun. 25, 2010