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Why does my 9 year old step daughter pee her pants??

My stepdaughter is 9 years old. She pees her pants daily. And she wets the bed as well. She is constantly giving herself a UTI because she pees her pants and then lies about it and sits in it until it dries. She pees at home, school, babysitters, grandparents houses, parks, church, slumber parties, etc. She is at the Dr.s at least 10 times a year for a UTI. She has been tested by specialists, seen at the ER, all of it. They claim she is a completely healthy child. She has even gone as far as pooping her pants at her own birthday party in her bedroom in front of her guests at 10 in the morning. I am growing deeply frustrated here because she always shruggs her shoulders when you ask her why she peed!! I am not really concerned with the night time accidents, but I don't understand why it doesn't bother her that she is sitting in cold wet urine?!?! She gets picked on at school for being the smelly kid and she doens't care!!

Answer Question

Asked by MizzBee at 5:24 PM on Jun. 24, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Since there isnt an obvious medical reason for her condition, maybe she needs counseling or to be assessed by a child psychologist? Sound slike something is going on there. My cousin had that problem...and he still does it on occassion and he is almost 16 years old. He was diagnosed with a mild autism.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:27 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Maybe she is healthy,physically. Maybe have her seen by a psychologist? There has to be a reason for it.Is her mom involved?

    Answer by starryeyez23 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • well my daughter was always pulling that, I don't know why---well sitting on the potty all day on a saturday--only got up to eat. and sunday, only got up to go to church and eat set her straight real quick. I took her to neurologists and urologists, had tests, tests, tests, ultra sound of her bladder, ct scan of her spine look for tumors on her spine. she still gets UTI once or twice a year and that is her only accidents( and sometimes not even then) since and that was 4 years ago,

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 5:48 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • Is it an attention thing? Even though she is getting negative attention maybe she doesn't care as long as people are paying attention to her.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 6:25 PM on Jun. 24, 2010

  • No child wants to be ridiculed by her peers nor pee or poop in front of guests. Kids who does this usually needs to be tested by a developmental pediatrician. Please try to give her more empathy. I don't think she meant to do this. There is a possibility that she could have a mild autism.

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 2:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • She only gets empathy. She doesn't get punished for it whatsoever by anyone. Her mother is around, they have 50/50 custody of her. Mentally, she is well above her peers. She is in advanced classes. I am just having a really hard time understanding why she is doing this because her mother just says she is lazy and doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom. It honestly does not bother her that people (peers included) know that she pees her pants. She does it so frequently, it would be impossible to hide from anyone. I agree she needs to see a counselor or something, because a 9 year old peeing their pants daily isn't normal!

    Comment by MizzBee (original poster) at 7:32 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Sometimes if you talk to her see if everything is okay with her at school ,if there was a loss or something like that.

    Answer by christine121 at 12:57 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • It's a mental health issue. You really should not get mad at her. You should keep her in a big kid diaper and get her into a phycologist asap. I don't know a ton of phycology but this sort of thing can be a cry for help in a child of this age. Is there any chance she could be being abused,either sexually or otherwise? Somebody needs to advocate for this child.

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:52 AM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • I totally agree with momthruivf. Put her in big kid diapers. I would be very concerned about this if I were you. No normal child is like this. A normal child would be devastated if they peed their pants at school. Something is going on with her.  What does her dad say about this?  Good luck, I hope everything turns out OK.


    Answer by carlye828 at 11:51 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

  • she sounds like she has some developmental issues, she might be autistic but there are other disablilitys that can cause these type of symptoms.....take her to a developmental pediatrician, they can run some test and meanwhile put her in childrens pullups/diapers...

    Answer by michaux at 4:39 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

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