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2 Bumps

How should I handle this?

A friend told me that her brother in law molested her husband, and his sister when he was a kid, I'm talking barely into puberty. The incident was NEVER reported, but the BIL was sent to juvie for 4 yrs then a boys home for the remainer of his teens. Her husband and the sister have forgiven him . The twist is I have been with the BIL for more than 3 years and am just now hearing this. I have quizzed my kids about touching in the bad spots and all. I also told them that if they were ever told not to tell that it is even more important that they tell. I know my kids, and I trust them.
My question is do I now confront my boyfriend? Do I tell him all his sister in law told me? Do I let it go? Do I assume she is trying to start trouble, she has a history of this? Part of me says tell him, let him know what she has said. Would that be wrong? We dont keep secrets from each other! I don't want to start!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • being a mom and knowing that i would do anything and everything to protect them i say talk to him. if u two don't keep secrets then he will not have a problem sharing this information with u. of course it will be hard for both of u to talk about this subject and what it will do to ur relationship. but like i said anything to protect the kids. be prepared, this could end what u two have, but it could also strengthen it. just depends on what he says and what u REALLY believe. please talk to him for the safety of kids and please listen to what he says and what ur gut tells u to do.
    teddybear2272

    Answer by teddybear2272 at 12:53 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I'd bring it up, you don't have to tell him your source, that may do more harm than good. Kind of sad that you have to worry about it now with your kids though.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:30 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • if you didnt have kids I would say maybe not-but as a mother you HAVE to ask him. This has all been oin the open, so it wont be wrong to say sil told you, be honest and ask him to do the same.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • If you want a relationship to work long term you have to know all of each others dirty little secrets, because it's things like this that will pop up one day and tear you apart. You NEED to talk to him about this absolutely MUST talk to him about this because you need to gauge if he is a threat to your children or not. IF it was me though I'd probably leave him no matter what because he WASN'T upfront and honest about it with you (a mother) and you've been together for three years. That's a long time for him not to tell you and I'd just be too worried about my children.
    GigantaursMommy

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 1:12 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • That's a tough call all the way around as far as whether or not you tell him and how (if you do), but as a mom, I have to answer this question as a mom and tell you that your 1st and foremost responsibility is to your children to keep them as safe and protected as you can. Hope this helps some, sorry.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 1:16 AM on Jun. 25, 2010