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2 Bumps

I am considering a BDSM relationship...

I am really thinking of going the whole way with outfits, ropes, and submission. Does anyone on here have advice as to wether or not this is good for a marriage?
My husband seems very excited, and I am but want to do this the right way.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would think of how you feel or might feel afterwards.

    Answer by Mommy2mj at 1:46 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • if you're both into it, then my all means go for it!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:49 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I don't see a down-side, especially if you are both on board with the idea and not planning on including a third person in your endeavors.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:51 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • try it out, just have a safe word and a day or two after talk about it and make sure that you are both still ok with it. It might sound a lot better in theory than it is in practice.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:03 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Hey I think that is fabulous that you both want to try something new. I think it will make you both more confident in your relationship with one another. HAVE FUN

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:04 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • My husband and I are in a BDSM relationship together and it has brought so much fun and closeness into our lives. The important things to remember: 1) Safe-Sane-Consensual (some use Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Notice that consensual is in both--that is important. Safety is important. So is trust. 2) Negotiations. They do NOT take the fun out of it, but it lets both parties know limits and land mines. Even if you've been married a while, this is a different type of relationship from a vanilla relationship and you will encounter new things. 3) Safeword! Make sure you have a word that both you and your husband know means stop--Stop and No usually don't work, because during a kinky scene you may say no when you mean yes. Pick something out of the ordinary--I recommend a yellow word that means let's slow this down and a red one that means STOP NOW. 4) Have fun with it. It can be an amazing dynamic and bring you closer than ever.

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 2:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think that communication is so important when trying new things, so make sure you two discuss how it was for the both of you afterward, any concerns you might have address them before you try it. If you need any thing or are still looking for some things check out this webstore, look at it together. It's, everything is 20%  until the 4th of July.  Remember to be safe, relax and enjoy one another in whatever you do.


    Answer by MrsAJLaw at 2:57 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Start slowly, so you can both get a feel for what you like and don't like.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:35 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • You need to talk to some people who are more into the lifestyle. BDSM is not something you can just step into... there are a lot of things you need to do to make it "right" - knowing your limits and your husband's limits, so you don't push them, putting safe words into place, knowing what turns you on and what doesn't...

    You can PM me if you want; I have been in the lifestyle for 7 years and am my husband's submissive. We are even considering a slave contract.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 3:08 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

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