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How can I get away from my husband?

Please dont bash. I need suggestions. Hes physically, verbally, mentally abusive to me. Not all the time...like every few months or so. But he shouldnt be doing it at all. Im just afraid for my kids. How are they going to handle not being with daddy. Where do I go? Im afraid he will come to wherever I am at and harrass me and whoever Im around at the time. I dont have a job or a license to drive. (got a ticket and hubby wont pay it so I can get my license back) I am going to school online but I dont graduate for another 9 months. I need so support without being bashed and this is the only way to do it anonymously. Thank you mommas.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Sep. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (30)
  • Do you have family you can turn to?
    SpookyJ

    Answer by SpookyJ at 3:03 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • call an abuse hotline they will have some ideas. there are shelters that will help you. if he is abusive the kids will be better off without him. make a clean break take the kids what you need and get to the shelter some will even pick you up. do not call him and do not get in touch with him except through a lawyer. good luck
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 3:06 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • I do, I just dont want to bring the chaos to their home. Last time we split up (shoulda been for good) he came to my work, my family and friends homes and just harrassed everyone. I just need to be strong to do this....Im so scared, but it HAS to be done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • I agree with calling the hotline. At least you have the sense to get out, because before anything else, you are a mommy. Remember "it is better to be from a broken home than in one".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • I have to walk to the nearest gas station to call, but Im looking up numbers right now. Are my kids going to be okay with the adjustments? They have never seen or heard daddy be mean to mommy, and hes a great father...they love him to death. But I cannot hide this anymore and continue to be strong for them because its wearing me down. Eventually they will catch on. They are going to wonder what happened. They have no idea something is wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • I have been in your shoes, you are not alone. I had three children when I finally got out my abusive marriage. My children are doing better than ever before.


    You need to set up an escape plan. Call 1-800-799-SAFE it is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They will help you to plan an escape and will help find the resources in your local community. Have a local DV advocate help you to obtain an order of protection. The order is only good for two weeks unless you show up for the hearing and request that it last for a year. It can also be renewed yearly.


    Space is limited here please PM or email me for more info or support. You are in my prayers!

    tinkerbell76

    Answer by tinkerbell76 at 3:26 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • Remember that you are a valuable person. You deserve better--much better than what you are receiving. Please do as tinkerbell76 says.
    This type of life NEVER gets better. Please seek help.
    You are in my prayers and thoughts. Again, save yourself and children\--You have to think of your now and your future.
    emme1964

    Answer by emme1964 at 3:41 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • You can get a restraining order if he comes to your work or the homes of your family to harass you. Your kids may not have seen him be abusive to you, yet, but someday they might. Do you want them seeing that? If they ask why you left, be honest and say sometimes daddy is mean to mommy. He still loves them very much, but no one deserves to be treated mean like that and you love YOURSELF as well as them too much to live like that. Someday they'll understand the meaning of respect, and will respect you for standing up for yourself.

    good luck, and remember things might be scary and uncertain now, but have faith and you and your kids will be okay.
    mommyonhawaii

    Answer by mommyonhawaii at 3:56 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • if i were you i would go somewere that he dose not know of, or with someone he has no clue of.another thing TAKE PIX keep track of EVERY LITTLE THING.AND keep everything dated!!!
    ArcaneJennab

    Answer by ArcaneJennab at 3:56 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

  • Finish school, find a job, then fly the coop. Make sure you have all your documents in order when you go (birth certificates, ss cards, insurance cards, etc). Get a restraining order when you go for your protection and to spell out temporary custody of the children. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman. The abuse can escalate to places it's never gone before. Once you leave, make it so you don't have to go back at all. Be prepared, do it smart, think about it and plan ahead, and all will go well. I'm glad you're in school. Keep your chin up Mom!
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 4:02 PM on Sep. 28, 2008

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