Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps


I have seen posts on "pro-choice" or "pro-life" ... my question is for the "pro-choicers"....

You have the right to choose what happens with your body, BUT what about the father? Is it fair to deprive him of the child he helped create, because you don't want it/can't handle it at the time/etc.?

For those that have had an abortion - did you discuss it with the father?

Answer Question

Asked by MoB.Monk at 3:05 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • This is why its such a difficult subject. I feel strongly that a woman has the right to decide what happens to her body, but at the same time my heart goes out to the men out there who truly want their children and have no rights. I'm clueless on a solution to this problem, though.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:12 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • well if the father had to share their body and their nutrition intake, if the father had to make the sacrifices that a woman does in order to bring their child into the world than no it would not be fair. But since they do not, since they have the advantage of disappearing when that stick turns pink and never having any other decisions to make other than signing a piece of paper if the mother legally demands so, I think NO.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Truthteller what about the men that don't do that?
    That are so excited and cry happy tears just thinking about "THEIR CHILD"
    thining about teaching them to throw a ball, or holding them when they cry, or teaching them helping them in school, what they'll look like......

    what about those potential dads?

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 3:17 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • @MomNbabyGirl009.........i can sympathize with those dads a bit, but the fact I stated in the beginning of my answer still remains. If dad was willing and able to give his body to his unborn child, that would be a totally different story, but he cannot. and before anyone says it, i know the dad has no control over that and it's sweet and crap when a man claims he would do it but the fact is he cannot.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:44 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • and facts are all that matter, dreams and wishes are just that.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:46 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • and facts are all that matter, dreams and wishes are just that.
    Then I guess the FACT that it is HIS sperm that created the child means nothing. Its his genetics! Without him SHE wouldn't be pregnant! Men should have a say. If you had your embryos frozen and stored for your use and a doc just decided to implant one in another woman.... Its your baby but in her body! What is the difference? There isn't one. You would want her to abort or give the baby to you but you can't make her do anything. Seems pretty unfair that you wouldn't get a say in your childs life huh?

    Answer by Crissy1213 at 3:55 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • It takes two to create a baby. It should take two to decide to kill that baby.

    Answer by 29again at 4:38 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • What happens if the father wants to terminate and the mother doesn't? Would he be able to force her to get an abortion because he gets a vote? Who ultimately gets to decide?

    Answer by deadheadjen at 8:30 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • That's the risk he takes in having unprotected sex with a woman who's ideals on this topic he's not aware of or in agreement with.


    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 8:48 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think my issue is that you then have 2 people with potentially differing opinions. Who gets to ultimately decide? It's not an issue you can compromise on or go to court over since you're dealing with time frames. You could have a woman who wants an abortion and the man doesn't or you could have a man that wants an abortion and the woman doesn't. SOMEONE has to make that final decision and I believe it should be up to the woman, as it's her body. You can't only look at one side of the coin (the woman wants to abort, the man doesn't). You have to look at all the possible scenarios that could come up with giving a man an equal vote. Would any pro-life woman want a man (not just some random hookup, could be your husband) demanding you abort and having to legally abide by that? That's the pandora's box that gets opened with giving a man equal say in what happens to your body.

    Answer by deadheadjen at 9:37 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.