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2 Bumps

would it be wrong??

To go to church to find a guy/boyfriend? ok i have not been to church in years although I so believe in God and teach my child about him we just don't go to church. Me and my SO are so over now (he never comes home at night will stay gone 3 days without even calling I don't trust him at all, and he steals money from me. I have to take my purse with me everytime I go to bathroom, outside to play with kids. We have been together for almost 10 years) I was just wondering if it would be wrong to start back church to find a guy?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Until you and your SO have the discussion of "it's over" then yes I find it wrong of you to look for someone else. After you end things I see no reason why finding someone else would be wrong.
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 8:55 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • not wrong at all

    I was thinking the same thing. My So and I are not over, but I see it coming. I am in no way wanting to starta relationship, not even thinking of it, but if and when I would be, I will want to meet a man that has real morals and values, and chances are better that a man would be descent if he went to church. Maybe God is the best matchmatcher!

    God Bless you
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:56 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Go. It is possible that while you are there that you'd find your spirit moved and actual worship taking place. The Lord welcomes all, and He would certainly like to see you in church. Perhaps you could make worship your main purpose, with looking fine for a male friend just in case. Join the church groups where you might encounter guys. Church sounds like a great place to meet nice people.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:56 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • kjbennett26 has a point about being honorable with your present boyfriend and ending it officially. Otherwise it is playing around to look for another.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:58 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think she's more concerned of whether it's wrong to go to church for the reason of finding someone (rather than to go to for spiritual growth) than she is of whether or not it's ok to look for another guy.

    OP, if that is how God is going to get you into church again then I say go. You are most likely in this bad relationship because you aren't following the path God wants for your life. If you get back into church, reading your bible, and praying then things will really improve for you and your kids.

    The biggest mistake women make is jumping from man to man. You need to give your heart time to heal. You need to focus on you and your children right now. Your children don't need to be drug on a dating roller coaster right now. Also, a healthy relationship won't work until you get yourself mended and straightened out. Go to church, get right with God, get your life on track and then God will bring you Mr. Right.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:04 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I wouldn't use it in the sense of a dating service, but it can open up a social network to you with possibilities that share similar interests with you.

    Good luck, regardless and stay strong, you can do way better than the guy you are leaving behind.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:07 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • If you are going just to find a new boyfriend, then yeah it sort of would be wrong in that you would be deceiving the new guy. If you are going because you believe and you feel the need to go and you want to meet other people with the same beliefs, then its not wrong. But I have to agree with some previous posters, make a definite split with the current and give yourself some time to heal.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 9:38 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • its wrong because #1 you're not there to be closer to God #2 you are using it as an excuse to find a new man #3 You're not doing it for the religion itself. I see plenty of men at the church I attend come only for the purpose of meeting women. Why not go to church for yourself?? Let people see you're a good person and that you hold true to your religion. It makes me sick to find out the only reason these men come to meet women they could care less about the religion it's also a big turn off to the women. As it would be to a man in the church if he found out. God would not be pleased unless your going to strengthen yourself and your kids. You are not being honest about why you want to go to church. If you don't like the man your with you can change that but don't go to church solely to find another man.
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 10:30 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Some bigger churches have singles groups with rules.And they plan big outings for everyone to mingle and meet each other.I don't see any harm in that.And it may be fun too.But don't go to church to just find a hookup.You'd get a guy that may not be worth you time.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 10:49 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I've seen many sleeze bag guys go to church to meet women that have money or a good job,,,,so I'd say I wouldn't go just to meet a man, but to go and maybe pray the good Lord will bring you a good man......good Luck hon
    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 5:05 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

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