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How can I get my stepdaughter to respect and listen to me?

my step daughter is ten and she hates me. I dont know what to do since I know i was the same way when i was young. to top it off her father, is biologically not her father. He has taken care of her since she was 18mos old and married her mother, then divorced her a short time later. We still get her everyother weekend or when ever she wants to stay. Ive been in the girls life for almost 5 yrs now n i still cant get through to her. CAN UP PLEASE HELP?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Sadly, there is probably nothing you can do to make her like you. Just be consistent and yourself and maybe some day she will come around.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:19 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • There is probably some blame and you are still the new kid on the play ground. I would try to figure out what you can do to be supportive just be there. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:25 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I agree withCindy18--there is nothing you can do to make her like you. That being said, if you ask her to please take her feet off the couch and she doesn't and is disrespectful to you, she needs a talk from your husband. No, you are not her mother, but you are an adult who is in charge in the house and there should be consequences in place for that.
    Being consistant is key.

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:26 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Don't try to be a friend but be a parent, structure and consistency and lots of love.

    Answer by older at 10:13 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think therapy for both of you might help. As well as looking at her life at her moms, and seeing how it's different when she's at your house. My SM didn't care. About anything. She still doesn't and I still hate her. Ten years later(after she married my dad, she's been in my life for 14).

    Answer by Arisce at 11:17 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • good luck with that i am having a hard time trying to get my son to respect me

    Answer by mia35 at 1:19 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • I have a step daughter, too. I have been in her life since she was a little less than two and she'll be eight soon. With her, I make the rules of our house clean and I stick to them. She knows where the line and exactly what happens when she crosses it. Which very rarely happens. Just be consistent with your house rules and let her know you love her. She'll come around for you one day. Best of luck!

    Answer by CaseyErin at 8:25 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

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