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Do you always call or talk to parents before your child goes over for a party?

My dd, almost 16, has been invited to multiple parties...pool, bbq, bonfire...she says parents will be home at all the parties-posted on FB as well. I only know the parents of one girl who's giving a party. The others are not as close friends of my daughter's. These are all boy/girl parties (her bf will be at these), and our town is pretty tame...and my dd assures me none of those attending are into anything bad. I do trust her, but I also feel that I should verify. This summer is shaping up to be a big social event!! What do others do in this case? Should I call or just meet parents when I drop off? Thanks!


Asked by dflygirl7 at 9:34 AM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • We live in a pretty small rural community and know all our children's parents, and we still call. However even if you call and get the confirmation they will be there - it doesn't always mean they are monitoring. We learned this too, my son called us after going to a bonfire telling us that some bad stuff was happening and he was leaving to go somewhere else. He didn't tell us until the next day that the "bad stuff" was drinking and smoking pot (I'm sure because he didn't want narc them out), but he had sense enough with 5 other friends to leave. The next day the parents were cleaning out their barn and had to call every parent that had a child there the night before, they said they trusted the kids...but they didn't even know what kids showed up later and who brought the alcohol. I told them they are teenagers you still have to monitor. I'm lucky I have a good kid.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:39 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • My children are still small. BUT my mom always called and talked to the parents first. When I was 16, it drove me insane. Looking back she kept me out of a lot of trouble at times. You never know who's going to show up to a party uninvited (or even invited) and what other kids might bring when parents aren't looking. My mom trusted me but that's because I gave her no reason not to....however that doesn't mean she trusted my friends or friends of friends. I will do the same and always call ahead of time. If I don't get a hold of the parent, my child does not go. And I agree with bumblebee...quietly introduce yourself when you get there. You can get a feel of what the parents are like too.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 9:47 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I would call first and get the details of whos going to be in charge and all that stuff...then quietly introduce yourself when dropping off your daughter.

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 9:37 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I would call too. My son is 15 and when I hear "party" or anything of the kind, my radar wont calm down until I speak to a parent lol.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:47 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Trust, but verify. My father always told me that he was more concerned about what others might do to me than what I might do. Maybe one of the "good kids" is just good at hiding a problem, maybe they brought their "bad cousin," maybe the host is pissed at his parents and decides to have a party to act out, maybe the parent is the one with problems your dd shouldn't be around.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 9:52 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Yes. Always.

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 9:59 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Yes I would call to make sure that the party is well supervised and then quietly intrduce your self.

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:46 AM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Yes, but I learned it doenst really matter that much. I called about a halloween party and the parents assured me they would be there. And they were but my daughter was there a whole of 10 min before calling me and begging me to HURY and pick her up. It was a total free for all. And by the time I got there 4 police cars were there. And I thought I had been responsible. Thank God I have such a great kid.

    Answer by sahlady at 12:53 PM on Jun. 25, 2010