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Would this offend you?

Maybe I should have said this differently. Maybe you can tell me. My friend has a 2.5 year old, I have a 4.5 year old. For the most part, they play well together. But for the whole year we have known each other her daughter has a violence problem. Whenever she wants something another child is playing with, she automatically will grab for it. If it isn't given up she will grab for the child's hair or face. My daughter has had bows ripped out of her hair, face scratched, arms scratched and has also been bitten by this girl. Her discipline is usually half hearted. My husband and I agreed after the most recent face grabbing that this little girl can no longer come over if it continues. Today she scratched my daughter again. I told my friend what my husband and I had agreed on and asked her if she could work on the scratching thing so that they don't have to be separated. Did I handle it ok, would you be offended if you were her?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • you absolutely did the right thing. Your child shouldn't be around other kids who are going to hurt her! The child's mother needs to put a stop to that. Whether or not she's offended, she can't expect people to allow her daughter to hurt their kids. Honestly, you're giving her feelings much more consideration than I would have.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 2:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • As a mom, I would certainly want to know if my kids behaved when there were someplace else. When my 3.5 year old hit a girl in preschool, I was embarrassed more than anything. I would not allow a violent child to come over to play and after the first time something happened, I would make sure the parents knew. You handled it correctly, in my opinion.

    Answer by actingout at 2:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • you did the right thing. definitely have to bring that to your friend's attention. i'm sure the mother realizes this too, though. you've gotta protect your own. if the other parent doesn't do anything about the situation then it is definitely your responsibility to say something to the mother and child. i used to be a preschool teacher so i have no problem telling other kids, "it's not okay, don't do that" if they are doing something wrong to my own kids.

    Answer by Katie80620 at 3:07 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I wouldn't be offended, but most moms would. They don't like to think that their kids do anything wrong.
    You handled it great though.
    Until she can discipline the child wholeheartedly, she wouldn't be playing with my kid either.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Of course it's okay for you to step up and protect your child from the violence of another child. It does not matter if she was offended. If she values your friends and the friendship of the children than she will recognize that it IS a problem and start taking the appropriate steps to reduce her daughters violence.
    However, to me it sounds like there is more going on and that girl might need therapy.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I would probably feel offended if I were her just because I think it's a automatic responce to take your child's side but I would also understand.

    Chances are this mom already knows that her DD has a problem and she doesn't know how to handle it properly.

    OR maybe she doesn't realize that her daughter's behavior is not normal for her age and she may have been shocked or hurt by your statement.

    Your really just going to have to wait it out to see how she will respond and how things will play out.

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • ZI think you handle it very well i know that I have a 2 yrs old and she isn't mean or take a toy from any other child. She knows that she has to share toys and hitting is unexceptable. But i have to say on the other hand she hits me and my hubby and bites us we are working on that. But my DD isn't mean to any other chil no matter how old they are. My DD plays with my friends 9 month old and she is so gentel with her. I think you handle the situation well you need to stand up for your child and your child should not be beat up by no one no matter how old they are.

    Answer by raemommy at 2:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • You handled it very well. Now it's up to the other mom to put an end to the inappropriate behaviour.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 3:08 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • No,I'd feel ashamed that my friend's child got hurt by mine! You handled that quite well.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I would either keep her away for the girl or yell at her when she does that to your daughter, if her mother isn't dicipling her enough, than feel free to yell at her.

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2010