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3 Bumps

Something my husband said has me a little bit concerned (sexual content)

Yesterday, after we were finished having some husband-wife time, I was complimenting him. I said something about how good he is and he said "That's a lie." He was serious. I asked him what made him think he wasn't any good in bed and he didn't really answer me, just shrugged and said "I don't know."

I always make a point to try to boost his ego from time to time, and he IS good! I dont know what could be making him feel that way.

What should I do? How can I make him see that he IS a good lover and I DO enjoy our time together? What could be making him feel that way?

 
Ati_13

Asked by Ati_13 at 4:37 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • A male's ego is so touchy. This is what causes many women to fake orgasms. This is why I always praise SO during and after sex. He needs to hear how great he is so I just play along and tell him what he needs to hear.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:42 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Mine has the same issues. I have been telling him that he IS good for several years and it has made no difference in the way that he views himself. I wish that I had some good advice for you.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 4:39 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • more info needed
    is him having low self esteem been issue in past
    in any area not just sex??

    is he having work issues? man has a lot of his self esteem come from his work, if things bad there, he will carry those feelings over to other areas
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:41 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Perhaps ask him what his version of "good" is and then work on trying some new things? Does he cum fast because if he does then he could think it sucks because he doesn't last long enough. Either that or if he feels he is too small (that seems most men..lol)...
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:42 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Maybe just make it a point to do it more than what you already are. Thats all I can think of, sorry!
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 4:42 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • men are touchy. Just keep telling him how pleased you are, and hopefully he'll come around.
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 4:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Try introducing a new move with him to where both of you are in control so it doens't seem either of you are working harder then the other and see how he feels about it afterwards. Maybe he feels like you guys are in a love making slump? Make sense? Maybe he needs a bit of a change?
    JuneWestling

    Answer by JuneWestling at 4:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Fiatpax, no, his self-image and self-esteem has never been a problem before, not in any area. Work is going well. It's a little stressful right now, but he gets complimented on his work all the time.

    worriedmommy, sometimes he doesn't last as long as it seems like he wants to, but not usually. And the time in question here was perfect lol. He's never said anything about feeling like he's too small, either. In fact, he's kind of above average. Not huge or anything, but enough to cause me some discomfort sometimes. He has told me he's completely happy with his size before.
    Ati_13

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 4:46 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • June, that may be so. We're kind of limited by my mobility and flexibility lol... I'm 8 months pregnant, but I can pull out the big guns ;)
    Ati_13

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 4:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Maybe he's just being modest? My hubby says stuff like that too , and he'll try to play it off like it's no big deal when I compliment his man skills. He KNOWS he's good, but likes to pretend to be modest and unsure of himself so he gets more compliments, lol. They need their ego-tank refilled every now and then :)
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 5:00 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

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