• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

S/O of the condoms at school question...

Do you think we tend to forget what we were like as kids and/or teenagers and pretend kids today are far more innocent than they really are? I know for a fact at least one girl I went to school with was sexually active in 4th grade (which was 1981), and one was pregnant in 8th. I KNOW I watched movies like Porky's and Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Risky Business as soon as they hit HBO and understood exactly what was going on. All my friends had a very tattered copy of Judy Blume's Forever that was passed around like the holy grail.

To hear people talk, we were all pure as snow until our first high school (or later) experiences, and it's only today that kids are oversexed and over exposed because of "looser standards" (seriously, go back and watch Footloose or Grease again). Are more kids getting in trouble because we assume they are more sheltered than they really are?

Answer Question
 
NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 5:23 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Personally, I have a 14 year old sister and I just like to think that she is less sexually curious than my friends and I were. I wasn't a slut or anything, but I wasn't pure as snow either. Her personality leads me to believe that she isn't ready to be sexually active yet. As for my daughter, when she starts ehr period or high school, whichever comes first, then we will talk about sex and birth control. If she becomes curious before that then we will talk before that.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 5:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Generally I think LOTS of people have this issue. I don't. I was doing the touchy feely thing with both boys and girls in 1st grade. And don't deny that my kids will most likely be sexually active in middle school - I was. I know teens and tweens are going to try alcohol, drugs, and sex... It's normal... Of course when I say stuff like "You should talk to your 6yo about sex" people treat me like I'm some crazed idiot... But I know the stuff I was doing, and I know nothing has changed. We aren't teaching our kids NOT to do this stuff, we rather to teach them to have common sense and to understand their actions have consistences... I hate this idea of "kids are innocent" I think it's simply adults who would rather wear blinders than see what is really going on!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:36 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Every kid is VERY different.. 5 year olds are Kindergarten... That is very young.. And at that age it should be handles 1 on 1... I dont think it needs to be really open & outright maybe somewhere between 3rd & 5th grade.
    They need to know the facts before 6th grade though (here that is Jr High)...
    I matured super fast, and was all into what your talking about. But even at 5/6yrs I was still clueless.. It wasnt until 3rd grade. and I was way ahead of "the bunch"... Thats why i say it should be handled 1 on 1 if the teachers/ parents see a problem...
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 5:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • My dd (14) has told me that her friends are active and one even had an abortion. We can't assume they are more innocent then we were. As parents the whole idea of them even thinking about sex/boys/girls whatever creeps up on us. For me I've been very open with my kids and they're comfortable talking to me. My son who's 16 has told me he's having sex, so we had a series of very long talks, we even provided condoms. If we go around expecting them to never grow up, we're missing out. I've had the deepest, most grown up conversations with my teenagers.
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 5:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I have to agree 100%!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 5:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think accepting VERY young children having sex is the problem. If you act like its normal, it will become normal. It should NEVER be normal for a 12yo having sex! I know I wasn't pure as snow but I hope that my eff ups have given me the basis to persuade my children to do the right thing and wait. I would NEVER condone sex like my mother did! We shouldn't assume they are innocent but we should not condone it. Allowing condoms being passed out to 5yos is like throwing in the towel and saying well lets let them do what they want. I refuse to be that parent.
    Crissy1213

    Answer by Crissy1213 at 6:17 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I really do understand the point you all are making, and I know that it happens (and btw, I saw those movies as 1st releases, in the theaters!!!) But I guess my side of this is, I was told that that was wrong, that it was inappropriate and unacceptable. I was taken to church every single Sunday, rain, sleet, snow, ice, or sun! I don't know, I guess you could say that I was very sheltered, or at least my parents tried their best to shelter me. But KNOWING that certain things were off limits, well, I was curious too, but that kept me from going too far with it. I still feel that saying a weak, "I don't want them to, but you know how kids are!" is giving implied permission. When our kids are small, we are told to let them know where the boundaries are, what they can & can't do. Well, teens need boundaries too! And THIS is a HUGE boundary! I don't understand why we as a society don't try harder to teach them NOT TO DO IT!
    29again

    Answer by 29again at 6:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I agree with Crissy. While I certainly started early, it wasn't at age 8. Elementary children who are having sex have most likely been sexually abused. Starting sex early is a BAD thing, emotionally. It's not healthy physically, either.

    There is a difference between acknowledging the fact that teens and even tweens have sex, and accepting it. Acknowledging it means we provide the help and support they need. Accepting it means we do nothing.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 6:39 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I remember when I was a kid my mom was semi-open but at the same time she punished me for the mistakes she made as a teenager, like having me at 17 as a senior in high school. I was scared to death of even talking to guys and there was no way I was going to think about them THAT WAY and then she would say oh there's something wrong with you because they see you like one of the guys. It was like a double standard at it's finest and I'm doing everything I can to not be the kind of mother she was about it because when I got into the Corps I realized how the world really was and that was the biggest shock of my entire life! I won't let my kids have to go through that the way I did.
    BlueCollarMama

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 6:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • What ever happen to trying to protect our children and their innocents. They are innocent until they are exposed to stuff. And yes more and more kids are being exposed to stuff that is not age appropriate. But that doesn't mean we should just throw them too the wolves. I am not so naive that I think I can protect my kids from things, but I don't need to deliberately expose them to things either.  I agree with Crissy1213.   I really believe we are creating our own problems.

    TBandNCmommy

    Answer by TBandNCmommy at 6:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.