Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Family issue...

okay i am new here so pardon me if i am still slow at navigating this website. anyway, i need some advice on husband-wife relationship. for few months now, my husband has been working long hours (10 hrs a day, 6 days a week). i know he is tired so i give him time to relax when he gets home. but when i'm done putting my son to bed and we go to our bedroom to hopefully spend some time together, he is fast asleep. it's nice to have extra money every week but i am not sure if it is worth it if it means less time with his family.

 
Gudwifey

Asked by Gudwifey at 5:31 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • (hugs) you'll make it through this - it won't be like this forever. if you can find some mommies in your area that can take you and your son along to the pool or the park or just have play time for him and adult time for you at the same time that will probably help you feel better too. but definitely keep communication open with your husband - surely he needs to feel reassured he is loved and wanted right now, it must be hard on him too.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Wake up early and have husband wife time before he's tired
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:36 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • i've been there :) and its still the same but if its not worth it you two need to talk and figure something out
    mommyof2chasmin

    Answer by mommyof2chasmin at 5:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2010


  • You need to sit down and talk to him. Let him know that you appreciate all he does for the family. Maybe the two of you can take a small vacation alone to rekindle the flame.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 5:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Sit down and talk to him. You can't blame the man for passing out as soon as he lays down, he's probably dead tired. Talk to him, and try to work out a new plan.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 5:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Can he stop working all those hours and your family still survive financially? Can he stop working those hours without getting in trouble at work with his boss and risking getting fired?

    My husband worked those hours and days but there was no way for him to do less, it was what was expected and if he tried or complained then he got scolded.

    Sometimes sex has to wait. Sometimes spending hours with the ones he loves has to wait and all he can do is hope his spouse will understand and respect that.

    If its bugging you...talk to him but know it may not be possible and all you can do is enjoy what time you do have and make the most of it.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 5:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • why don't you talk to him when he's awake - let him know you understand the schedule is an adjustment and he needs rest but you miss time with him - he might be able to make some suggestions that he thinks will work for him.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • actually we do need the money to pay off our debt so he does need to work those hours. i just feel like we are not that close anymore and he does not even spend time with his son. also we only have one car and i am stuck in the house and can't do whatever i want to do. i can't work because he does not want me to work because whatever i am going to earn from my work is just gonna pay daycare or nanny so it's not worth it. i guess i just have to talk to him and let him know how i am feeling.

    thank you all for the advice.
    Gudwifey

    Comment by Gudwifey (original poster) at 7:35 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • we both get up early coz he needs to drive 1-2 hour(depending on traffic) to get to work...the only time we get a hubby/wife time is sunday his only days off and sometimes none. so i guess i just have to find time to talk to him about this.
    Gudwifey

    Comment by Gudwifey (original poster) at 7:48 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • is it possible to get a sitter for 3 hours on his day off? if so- do it during the day and make it a sex fest! lol for me- if i dont have sex after so long, i start to feel ignored/unwanted... but after the sex, we cuddle and talk- even if its just 5 minutes.. but for you, its a matter of finding that time.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 9:37 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

Next question in Relationships
i kissed him :(

Next question overall (About CafeMom)
how come???