Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 17 year old daughter did not come home last night!

her father and I gave her permission to go to a bonfire with her friends. When our daughter came home this morning I asked her where she was & why did she not call? She says she was at her friends house and fell asleep. I told our daughter this is not acceptable and there is no excuse for her not to call her father and I. Our daughter says she is telling the truth and is not makeing up any excuses. Our daughter is now angry with me because I told her she has to stay home today. When her father comes home were going to have a chat with her. She has never pulled this before and is a good kid. I still want to get the point across that what she did was wrong. How can I make her see it that way??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • I would let her know you and her dad were worried... ( me I would have been on the phone asap with the cops if I noticed my child did not come home at curfew! ) and let her know that she needs to call and tell her why this is important, that teenage girls get kidnapped, dissapear etc. She needs to understand it is NOT a safe world out there no matter HOW responsible she is and good of a kid she is!

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I think you doing a good job. Even if it was the truth that she fell asleep, and got no consequences for it, she could use this excuse again for other things. IMHO I would still get my point through that even if she was telling the truth not calling you and not being mature about he situation is still grounds for consequence so she understands to be more thoughtful next time she goes out. Good luck :)

    Answer by midnight11287 at 5:48 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Does she have a cell phone? When you have that chat with her, make sure that she understands that you need to know where she is for her own safety, that even if she really did fall alseep she should have called as soon as she woke up. If she appologizes then she really understands.

    Answer by browningmom at 5:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • You probably won't get her to see your side because she is a teenager. But I think your punishment and convo is a good idea. Maybe you can tell her that is she was my daughter it wouldn't be just today. She would be grounded a whole lot longer.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 5:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • If I was that other mother, I would have called you to let you know dd was spending the night. I dont go to sleep till the kids are home safe and sound. Other kids parents expect the same out of me with their kids. Everybody makes it home safe from wherever they are, thats the rule around here. Too bad she is upset, she will get over it. I would have been sick to my stomach calling every parent I know to find my kid if she didnt come home by the middle of the night. Yes,,,she would have consequences..good luck

    Answer by beyondhopes at 5:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I have been there only with sons. You're doing the right thing. You may never convince her she was wrong..and thats okay. As long as she understands she broke a major family riule and consequences stem from HER choices. Stand your ground.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Good, she should not go out today! All you can do is tell her how you and her dad feel and not to do it again.
    "Respect is a two way road" She needs to respect you and your rules and you can respect her for following them. That is how she earns trust.

    She may need a reminder about good friends would not get her into trouble? Tell her to choose well, she will 18-soon.

    Answer by gammie at 5:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I would tell her it's not that we don't believe you, but we were really worried and it's not okay not to call.  That is part of the responsibility of going out. 


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:06 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • You're doing the right thing, and a long talk about why it is important that she stay in touch with you. My son did this to me once and he was 14, I allowed him to go to a party and by 1am when he still wasn't home I called his cell phone, he didn't answer, then his friends cell phones. Finally the friend he was with answered, I made my son come home. I didn't care he was only a house away, when he got home I was crying I was not only pissed but scared silly. When he saw my reaction he apologized and told me he thought he had told me. Regardless he didn't get to go out the next weekend.
    The rules in our house are: Show Respect, Keep in Touch and Stay Safe. If you aren't calling me you're breaking the rules. She may not agree with you but I think if you put into prespective about her saftey and your worry and not about not trtusting her, you'll have a better time getting her to understand what you expect.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:15 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster.

    Answer by older at 9:13 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.