Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

my son has been

in alot of trouble over the years and now is in some pretty serious trouble he is in the juvinel deition center and will be there for 2 more weeks i am not ready to go see him and he wants us to visit has anyone else had this experience? and how did you deal with it?

Answer Question

Asked by mia35 at 9:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Withholding your attention and affection is not what your son needs right now. Try to be supportive and go to see him. Let him know that you do not approve of his recent behavior, but that you still love him. When he gets home, leave the past in the past and try to help him move forward in his life. Get him involved in youth groups, sports, or whatever you can to keep his attention focused on something positive. He needs you right now. Be there for him.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 9:43 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Ive never been in this situation as a parent,but as a teen,I can tell you even though he's in trouble im sure all he want right now to see his family,being iin a place like that im sure he just needs love,and when he gets out if he is still,causing problems then its time for the tough love but,right now just go see him.

    Answer by mommy16love at 9:46 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • I've not had experience with this myself, but I agree with the previous posters go see your son. My nephew has been in a lot of trouble the past two years and when faced with going to a juvenile detention center or to back to my brother, he actually wanted to go to the dentention center (how sad is that). Your son wants to see you, don't let him think you don't love him. You can disapprove of his behavior and I most certainly would too, but don't let him think you've given up on him and don't care, that could only make things worse.
    Good luck.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Go see him, It will hard but they are still littler than they think they are. When my son was in your sons place 7 years ago all he wanted was his mommy to make it all go away. You have to be strong. You can't make it go away for him but you can let him know that you still love him no matter what, you may be mad at him right now for what he did, but you still love him. My son was in detention for a month and then in a placement center for two years after that. Even though I really did not want to go and see him there I did anyway. I cried the first time I saw him in chains. It was really hard but we got through it. you will too... just hold on... Let him know you love him but he does need to change his ways if he doesn't want to spend more of his time in places like that. Be strong, he needs you.

    Answer by SandraLee242 at 1:23 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My son spent some time in the county jail when he was 18 - 19 years old. I was the only visitor he had - he was there for 9 months. I let him know that I did not approve of what he did (stupidity - he pawned something for a younger friend and was arrested for dealing in stolen property - a felony)
    I agree with SandraLee 242. Use this time to let him know you will always love him and be there for him but he has to take responsibility for his own actions.

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 10:27 AM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • thank you ladies for not bashing i am having such a hard time right now he said some really hatefull hurtfull things to me befor he left and even pushed me wrote a very nasty letter to us from detition its been a vey long and rough road and i am so tired and confused and hurt but i really will take to heart all that you have said and do some seriouse thinking i think we may go and see him on sunday after church

    Comment by mia35 (original poster) at 12:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My stepbrother alot of yrs ago was always in and out of stuff and I kinda know its dificult for ya but I would stay away mabe it will show him my stepmom was allways there and I dont think it helped him,who knows?

    Answer by christine121 at 7:04 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.