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I want to break my son from the Passi... BUT...

My son is 4. It's more than time he quit using his passi. His brother (almost 3) doesn't use one at all. Here's the issue. My son has an anxiety issue, I have tried to introduce "lovies" and other comfort items to him so that he will have something to comfort him when he's feeling anxious or angry or whatever, but he won't latch on to all of them... His passi has become his only mode of comfort. He doesn't use it through the day most of the time, but when he's having a tough day I will find him sneaking it in to his room to help comfort him... He takes it only long enough to put himself to sleep, but that to is rather traumatic most nights - it can take him HOURS to calm down enough to sleep, and without his passi it's even worse...

I know it's past time to take it, but I don't have a clue how to deal with his other issues w/o it. We are getting him treatments for the anxieties, but that's taking a while to get going...

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SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 10:30 PM on Jun. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would just let him have it. Honestly who is it hurting? He is just a little guy, I am sure he won't take it to college :D If he didn't have anxiety issues then I would say just take it and let him get used to it, but he does and needs his comfort object. He will give it up when he is ready.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • If it helps your son, why take it away? My son is 4 and still sucks his thumb. I can't take it away from him, but I don't even try to discourage him from doing it. Some days it's constantly in his mouth, and sometimes a week goes by and I wont see him sucking at all. I say, if it brings your son comfort, why cause the distress. Who cares if people stare, or if it's not the norm.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 10:35 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • He is old enough to reason with and barter with. Tell him the Paci Man is coming by and will leave a present on your doorstep in exchange for all his pacis boxed up to go to new babies who need them and don't have them. Help him write a letter to the Paci Man explaining what gift he wants and instill a new bedtime routine, like milk and story or something to give him something to look forward to.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:37 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Oh, I also forgot to mention... I'm having another baby in December. So if I do the "box it up and pitch" thing (which we were going to do) their will be passis back in the house come December... And I'm afraid that is going to be a much bigger upset to his world already... So I'm afraid not only is he going to have them back in the house, but he's going to have to deal with the fact that he has another sibling again...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 10:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • The Binkie Fairy came to my daughter and left a gift. She knew it was going to happen, and had time to get used to it. I think that if you get rid of it now, that by December it will have lost its meaning for him. He'll probably try one of the baby's pacifiers but it will be too small and he won't like it.
    I would add other comforting routines to his bedtime routine so that when it comes time to give it up he has other comforts to fall back on. My kids liked to fall asleep to music.
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 10:53 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • Sabrina, honestly, it's not hurting anything to let him have it at night. My daughter sucked her thumb and there was no way of taking that away from her. She quit it on her own, of course. If he's having anxiety issues, as someone that has my own share of them, I would think when the time comes, he will give it up on his own. After all, by using it as a stress relief for him, is it really any different then the medications we as adults take, even those who smoke cigarettes. The new baby is going to further add stress to his life, so I would say let him keep it.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2010

  • take it AWAY toss it in the trash thats what i did for my son before he was 2
    kris8525

    Answer by kris8525 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • My son had his binky all the way up to 3 yrs 2 months and it was the hardest and sadest thing taking it from him but honestly he lost them all and we just nvr bought him any more. Hes almost 3 1/2 now and sucks his thumb now and it doesnt bother me at all. It comforts him and puts him night night plus him sleeping with mommy helps. I would just let him have it during night and nap time. GL I know how you feel
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 10:15 PM on Jun. 26, 2010

  • It's not hurting anyone for him to have the paci, especially if he has anxiety issues and it comforts him. I would wait unitl after the new baby comes and he has had a chance to adjust. And this is coming from someone who HATES pacifiers.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:22 PM on Jun. 27, 2010

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